14 Months to a Healthy 50

Jules Healthy Road to 50

So, I am doing a thing. Which, is not unusual for me, seems I am ALWAYS doing a thing. This one, this one is going to make a difference.

The link above explains things in as much detail as I could give last night.

I now have a daily video diary up and going over on youtube. I only have Day 1 on file, but Day 1 is very important. I don’t know if I mentioned in my previous post, but recently I was told by two separate doctors that I need to lose weight. I took it very hard.

I am really good at seeking out quick fixes and the latest trends. I have spent way TOO much money on fad diets and work out equipment. My husband told me I am not allowed to spend anymore money on diet stuff. My NP told me I need to learn to look at food differently, to completely change my way of thinking and eating.

Now I am at a real crossroad because I am the queen of procrastination. Add to that I have little self motivation. AND this past year has just been a roller coaster ride of emotions and exhaustion and hot flashes and I don’t even know. I have not been myself. This is where the video diary comes into play. I have to keep myself accountable. I have to keep myself motivated. My plan is each day I will do my video diary. The next day I will come over here to my blog and log all the daily things. Food, exercise, whatever else that the video just really can not capture in it’s full awesomeness.

I asked in my first video for followers, which as of yet I do not have, please not be mean, but any and all advice is welcome.

My FIFTIETH birthday is November 11, 2020. That is my goal date. My goal isn’t necessarily a number on the scale or a size in the closet, but more a healthier, leaner happier me. I want to be Fit and Fabulous at 50! I have a LONG way to go, but I am determined to get there.

If you would take a minute and jet over to youtube and follow me. Share if you will!

Peace my beautiful friends!!!wpid-262901_10151176579058415_1137255851_n.jpg

7 Days

I did tell you that you were going to get sick of me. It is hard for me to hold myself accountable just by keeping track of everything, I mean who doesn’t lie about what they actually eat every now and then?

Today is Day 7 for me.

Day 7 of what you are asking yourself?

Well, Day 7 of this round of diet. Day 7 of Omni Drops. Day 7 of no coffee. Day 7 of no Diet Coke. Day 7 of NO SUGAR. Day 7 of no processed food. ( ok wait that is a lie…..I did cheat and had ONE WHOLE pepperoni on maybe Day 4) Day 7 of a very strict calorie and food intake. Day 7 of having not gone psycho on anyone due to all of the above.

This round started with me ” Loading” which meant for 2 days I could eat whatever I wanted. And did I ever. I stayed stuffed and happy about it. Even had cake. ( not really sure if that is what they meant by eat whatever and whenever I wanted) It wasn’t really good bakery style cake, it was Hostess of some sort. I had some Doritos, and I don’t even remember what else. These two days I did not keep track of food intake. I can tell you I had DIET COKE and wonderful coffee with wonderful hazelnut creamer. There is a purpose behind this madness, but I am not going into that.

Day 3 comes and BAM restricted diet. I can have 2 servings of fruit a day, 4 ounces of lean protein ( not all lean protein just approved lean protein I didn’t read that correctly on day 3!) twice a day; lunch and dinner, 4 ounces of approved veggies twice a day, two grains ( this is in the form of melba toast or wasa crackers NOT to be eaten at same meal). I am to drink 3/4- 1 gallon of water a day. I can have coffee and tea, however nothing added except stevia. Green tea will count towards water intake, but everything else counts against it. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, yours truly managed to screw it up on day 3 because I didn’t read all the fine print ( which really isn’t fine- I just skimmed through it and thought I was a pro already!) Thanks to an amazing friend that doesn’t mind I text her relentlessly with 900 questions, I got on track.

Day 3 was in fact the roughest day. After having loaded myself up with food over a 2 day period my brain thought that is how I needed to continue to eat. I did good. I did not stray. Every time I get to thinking I need to eat, I drink green tea. I made pancakes and bacon for the family one night for super and each time I went to lick my fingers I caught myself and rinsed them off! Good job right?

Surprisingly, it really hasn’t been that hard. I haven’t really been hungry. And, like I said each time I think I need to snack just to snack, I make a cup of hot green tea. I usually drink about half of it and decide I am done with that for now. I have several times stood with the refrigerator door wide open looking for something to jump up and say ” you can have me!” and so far the only time I caved was to that one pepperoni. Although, I really wanted some of my husbands pistachios last night. But, I did good, I took a bath and shaved my legs and other parts in preparation for our up coming beach trip! ( WHAT? get over it!)

Now, the good news; I am down 9 pounds in 7 days. Bad news, each and every time I get to 9 pounds lost I quit. I grab my fancy coffee and start to gain again. However, I have mad it UNDER a certain weight that I have not been under in a long while. It usually goes hand in hand, the 9 pounds and the weight on the scale usually are right there together. So here I am at 9 pounds lost and UNDER this weight holding my breath to see what tomorrow brings.

My expectation obviously is to lose weight, but I also hope to find a path to a better me. I know, that covers a lot. But, stick with me and we will see how this goes!

Dance in the rain my friends!!!!!

 

Prepping for Prep

Tomorrow is grocery day. 🙄

After going to the grocery store I will have to prep for the next week, or at least for my lunches. If I do not prep, I’ll eat anything I can throw in a bag and take to work with me. 

For some of you this prep process may be easy, but for me it is extremely time consuming. I did a great job for about 2 weeks when I tried to eat completely clean. Turns out I have to prep for prep. Healthy eating is very expensive. I have to figure out meals for the entire week and break those down then break it down farther into what I can actually afford and what I’ll really eat. 🙁 That in itself should earn a person ” automatic calorie burn” points. Especially given I am not an organized person. Nope. Not one little bit. I make my list I always start it with ” Milk” and instead of following the store from that point I go to  razors, dog food, sour cream, cereal, chips, body wash….. you get the point. Even when I try to put my mind to grouping things together as they belong, I stand in the store and look at my list like ” WTF IS THIS SHIT?” My brain can’t comprehend it, so I’m loose in Hell Mart with a list I can’t follow and a shopping cart EARLY SATURDAY MORNING. Periodically I check the list to see if maybe I managed to be somewhere on track just to notice SHIT I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DAIRY SECTION and since I’m back tracking remember the tea bags!!! I get half way back to the dairy section and get side tracked by the stand of pepperonis they have smack dab in the middle of nowhere so you damn near run over them. Get home no Mozzarella and nontea bags. Every week! 

Yet, I still do all this researching recipes and calories and fat and carbs and on and on to prep for prepping just to nlownit all out of the water . BUT I do have cute little pink and blue divided containers for my prepped meals. 😬 ( which I was informed I did not need!) 😔

Oh how I wish I could afford to pay someone to just prep for me. 

Changing the subject, I received lots of feedback on my post from yesterday. Thank you all. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that struggles with the same issues. Sadly, today I have ate badly all day. It’s been one of those days. Bought me some Muddie Buddies and ate the whole bag. Yup. With a Diet Coke. Then I went and got my eyebrows waxed. 🤷‍♀️ 

I also received lots of advice, which I absolutely appreciate. It’s hard for me not to buy snacks and bring them in the house. Not because of me, but because this is what I hear :

” I thought you went to the store? What the hell did you buy because there’s nothing in this cabinet!”

” there’s nothing to eat!”

” Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean we have to starve!”

And the comments go on and on. So, I try to buy things I THINK I won’t eat. Strangely enough, when I am emotionally eating or blind eating as I am calling it, it doesn’t really matter if it’s my favorite or not. 

I must tell you, I kind of lied. As I try to work through this eating issue I have and eat healthy I will be on the Omni Drops in hopes of losing a few pounds to get things kicked into gear. I’m still not referring to it as a diet though. 

So, hope you still stick with me as I go through this day by day. 

I didn’t keep track of food today, as I started the day with awesome French toast and somewhere there in the middle I had a bag of Muddy Buddies I didn’t really want to know how many calories or carbs I took in!!!

I Quit Dieting…Tomorrow

Four and a half years ago I quit smoking. Cold turkey. There wasn’t anything easy about it.  That in itself is a whole other topic. However, it led to this one. 

Three months after quitting I had put on well over 20 pounds. Another month later and 10 more pounds. 

Since putting on all of those pounds I have tried every diet I could find. I spent way to much money on crazy fads, crazier promises and insanely crazy foods. A lot of those worked to take off a quick 10 pounds. One, which I actually stuck to for half a year took off 20 pounds. All have returned with a deep desire to not only hate me, but make me miserable. 

Mostly, I have become my own worse enemy. Whatever the crazy diet is for this week, I dive full force into. And I see results. I get so excited about those results, and I post them everywhere and tell everyone. ” hey got on the scales this week, another 3 pounds for a total of 9 pounds” whomever it is congratulates me and probably rolls their eyes because they are well over hearing my success story of losing the same 9 pounds for the last 2 years. Personally, I’m sick of hearing it too. Because here is what happens: I get so excited I’m down 9 pounds I think ” it’s ok it I have the chips and salsa and a jumbo margarita tonight, I deserve it and I’ll be right back on track tomorrow no big deal” guess what, it becomes a big deal. Those few chips and that margarita ALWAYS turn into more. That more then has me so disgusted with myself I eat more. Makes loads of sense doesn’t it? No. It doesn’t. But, that’s emotional eating. Add to that I have found I eat when I would have normally had a cigarette. This is eating that I have not made a conscious decision to do. ( I know, I’m beginning to border on insane here…. just hang with me)

The emotional eating I get. Everyone does it. Some get stuck in a vicious cycle of it. I think that’s probably a whole other topic as well. 

Eating in place of smoking. I never really noticed I was doing it. Until tonight. Got up to go to the bathroom when I was done I stopped at the cabinet and grabbed a cookie. As I was eating I asked myself why on the hell was I eating this cookie? I’m actually full so I’m not hungry. It’s not the best cookie ever made so I didn’t really crave it. Come to think about it this is not the first time tonight I’ve done this. Or the first time this week. I’ve done it over and over for, well ever it seems like. And this is food that doesn’t get entered into my daily log. Five years ago when I would have gotten up to go potty I’d have grabbed a cigarette and had a couple puffs. Talking on the phone is fine outside and smoked one or two or however many until I was finished. Now, I finish off the Doritos. After sex, no cigarette instead a Hostess cupcake, which are so much smaller then they use to be. 

 What do I do? No Diet is ever gonna work at this rate. Only thing keeping it at a 30 pound gain instead of a 100 pound gain is because I attempt to stay slightly active. 

My idea is to attempt to cure my addiction. It seems all I did was swap one addiction for the other. Personally, I’d rather be a skinny smoker. But, I’m really not interested in smoking again. So, just like I quit smoking I am going to quit dieting. 

I am going to document everything. Try to figure out what triggers what. How to work around the cravings and replace unhealthy foods with healthy ones. I’m going to do all of this right here on my blog for all the world to help me along. ( although no one ever reads or shares these, but at least in the back of my mind I think someone is…)

Since it’s way past my bedtime, tomorrow starts day 1. 

Please feel free to share these. Please comment with words of encouragement or advice, or tell me how stupid you think I am, at least then I know I am being heard. 

I hope I don’t lose my mind and cry like a baby …..

✌🏼

The Experience

Recently, my two sons and I attended a Kid Rock concert. Before the concert, I won a contest through The Rebel Soldiers Fan Club ( Kid Rocks’ fan club) called ” The Ultimate Fan Opportunity” for weeks they kept secret what the actual prize was. Then as other concert winners were attending their prospective concerts, information was leaking here and there. Probably, mostly because I was poking around trying to find out what EXACTLY was going to go down. Not because I enjoy taking the element of surprise out of things, but because I had to convince my husband I didn’t sign up for a full blown orgy back stage with Kid Rock, because the contest CLEARLY stated the opportunity was for the winner ONLY not the winner plus one or the winner plus their party, just THE WINNER, that was it. Therefor, I HAD to track down information, otherwise this winner was NOT going to see the prize!

I had only bought two tickets to the concert because when I bought them, I had no idea there was going to be a contest, little alone that I would win one. The plan all along was for me and our 13 year old son to go. Over the years, he has begged to go to a Kid Rock concert with me. In 2011 my husband and I went to the Born Free concert in Evansville, I promised our son then, the very next concert he could go to. Turned out, I lied. My husband and I went to Noblesville in August of 2011 for another Kid Rock concert. So, when the Rebel Soul tour was announced, it was decided at that moment, me and my son were going to Rock it together!

Then I won the contest, my husbands comment ” What about Trent? You know he won’t sit there by himself” All my joy was sucked out of me! And NOT A SOUL that I knew would agree to leave their seat and come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert ( even though we had damn good seats) and no one I knew that wasn’t already going to the concert would agree to buy a ticket and then come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert. It was as if everyone was saying, ” Screw You!” It literally came down to a few hours before the concert, I begged and begged my oldest son PLEASE buy a cheap seat ticket. They are ONLY $22 PLEASE!!!!!!! He FINALLY caved! And, I think even he is happy he did.

The following paragraphs are copied from a text I sent to my friend, she sent me a text, and I quote; ” So tell me about how it all went down”…….and I did, then I copied it into a note on my Facebook page, adding The Rest of the story. Now, Here I am copying it to my blog, with The Beginning of the story! Image

Well, Born Free had just started and I felt someone pull on my shirt ( which I already knew security was coming to get me during that song) so I turn and the guy asked Julie? I said yes he said follow me so I followed him down the steps ( we were the 10 th row off the floor) to the floor and all the way to the back of the floor area where there was the other fan club winner and a girl and her boyfriend that had won thru Harley Davidson……
So we just stand there thru most of the song then the guy says ” the next song is Bawtidabaw, when the explosion goes off we go… Follow me” and I was like oh man I wish I hadn’t left my phone with Johnny cause I so need to video this for Tyler Bates!……
So then all these sparkler things start going off all across the stage and Kid Rock comes shooting out of the bottom of the stage ( which is also how he started the show so damn cool) and then BOOM! And we were off dang near sprinting to the front diving our way thru people( not really but I did have to push one chick out of my way)
We get up to the front and walk behind a curtain. And there I am standing UNDER the stage and this guy in a suit comes up to me sticks his hand out and says ” I’m Gio, are you Julie?” And I thought SHIT I’M GETTING KICKED OUT ALREADY! Gio is Head of Kid Rocks personal security! So he says they ( and points to the stage) will go off stage change then they will come back out and they are going to play Happy New Year you guys are going to stand by the Harley and just have a good time like your at a New Years party and they gave us Happy New Years hats……
So the song ends and we walk up on stage all the lights are off and it was so damn cool! A couple minutes went by I guess then the band and Kid Rock come out from a curtain with their gold coats on. And this Gio grabs my arm and says you here…. Then they started playing and I started singing and clapping and waving my hands and jumping up and down ……..
The other fan member that won she was like 70 and so darn cute , the sax player kept turning around and smiling winked a couple times then moved to the other side of the stage! Ha! Then the guitar player came our way and he nodded and smiled and soon he too moved away! And yup KR did look our way, but that was it. No HEY GIRL WHAT’S UP! But he was like 5 feet away from me at one point! They turned the lights on and I could see J2 and Trent then I really went crazy and they were crazy waving back!
They kept drawing the song out, so what is normally a 3 minute song was like 10 minutes, when the song was over we were escorted off stage had our picture taken, not with Kid Rock and told thank you and good bye! And I was HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

I hadn’t been to Ford yet so I had no idea if our seats were good or not good and the chart you couldn’t really tell. When Trent and I were walking down the steps and we got half way down I turned and said ” NO WAY!” He said WHAT? I about started crying when we finally got to our seats! I mean they seriously could not have been better! Well, yes they could have but not anywhere near my price range! I’m not gonna lie and say I wish I could have gotten a hand shake, but I’m good
( as told by me to Stacy via text message…. She asked how it all went down, so I told her!)
And here is the rest of the story, which I left out of the text messages.
As I am heading back up the steps to where our seats were, I was diverted to a different set of stairs because someone in our section had passed out. However, my sons were waiting for me when I came out of the stairway. And it was on. I was all chatter like I had just drank a gallon of Red Bull followed by a dozen of those energy shot things! I could not shut up. I thought as we hit the doors I was gonna freeze walking back to the Jeep, but nope! I was good to go. And the three of us laughed and laughed and were just crazy ridiculous the whole walk back to our ride. I can’t speak for my boys but I had had the most amazing night! The whole night was just epic! ( I had wished several times that Scott was there, so he was in my heart) I can’t explain how full my heart and my soul felt. It was like, a release….. Not the end of a story, but THE opportunity to turn the page to the next chapter. For some, you are probably thinking this girl is nuts, which I am, but others who are reading this understand exactly what I mean. EPIC!
And now, the REST of the REST of the story. As we are rolling up the highway I say ” who’s window is down?” J2 says ” his” and points to the back I didn’t think anything at first, thought Trent was hot. Didnt seem odd. Then I said ” what’s that smell? OMG! Are you throwing up?” And he was! So we pulled into Windmill. I went in got him some water and napkins and mistakenly lead the cashier to believe I go to EVERY Kid Rock concert, as in crazed psycho fan following him around the country when I just meant all the ones he has in Evansville!….oops! Apparently, he had been feeling sick to his stomach every since we sat down at the concert. I told him NEVER do that again! EVER! He said WHAT? I told him no one and nothing not even Kid Rock is or ever will be more important then my kids and he should not have had to sit thru all that feeling as bad as he did, we would have left! I then felt like the worse parent ever!
This part, I think all of you will love. Chloe gets off the bus today, first thing she says is ” why did Trent stay home?” So I explained how he got sick, she smiled that evil little smile and said….” HMPF, sounds like Trent doesn’t like Kid Rock either!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Image( that’s me in the orange shirt, which just so happens to be a Harley Davidson TShirt!….I have just as many of them as I do Kid Rock tshirts, ok, well maybe not, but I have a few!)

May 2018

Crazy. I was. I can not tell you how insanely over the top crazy I was for Kid Rock. No, I had no grand illusions of being whisked off to forever be his love slave. Ewe. I mean how many ” places” do you think THATS been in. 😲 Noway, I have loads of respect for my place. Anyway, in the deepest darkest depths of my own personal hell his voice was my everything. My best friend, my anger release, my sobering cries. Wow. His voice was all that held me in check. That night, April 1,2013 I was so high on life. I was going to be on stage with the voice that kept me sane. No bundle of nerves no jitters, calm as my soul could be without having been on the Gulf of Mexico. I was ready. And SLAM. No warning signs no sirens, just a big fat fuck you. That’s what it felt like. Right there. I mean just feet away, and not a nod, not a wave not a passing by high five NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Took me about 7 seconds on that stage to feel it. We were a mosquito buzzing around and around his nose, pissing him off. Resentment. Because he sold out. His backers required him to host the contests but they couldn’t force him to like it or give anything of himself. It hung heavy in the air. Took another 5 seconds to see I was feeling it right. And another .2 seconds to close it all off and say fuck you back. From that moment on Kid Rock as I use to see him was gone. The rest of my time on stage it was about me being on stage where my sons could see me and I could see them and we just danced and waved and acted stupid. It was the death of a friend. My over the edge excitement for anything Kid Rock died as well. For a few years I didn’t even listen to him. We still go to concerts, he puts on one hell of a show. Still dream of him playing for me at this huge 50 birthday party for me. But, he’s not all that anymore. He’s an asshole as I see it. Broke my spirit for awhile but that’s my fault. I put it all on his voice. I needed someone or something to help me through, and his voice did. So, for that I thank him. Still pisses me the hell off. What would it have hurt 2 seconds. *sigh* I dream too big I suppose.

Damn it one of these damn days I am going to be filthy rich with my own damn yacht sailing around one of those beautiful islands with my husband and kids and beautiful friends, ugly ones too, and Kid Rock is gonna wish he had high fives me that night……..

✌🏼

To Repair What Was Broken

   
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  If you know me, truely know me, or are following my blogs; which it seems no one actually is, then you know the beginning of 2012 became a turning point in my life.
     To completely understand all of this you will need to read some of my blogs from earlier in the year.
     What I will tell you is there came a moment when I decided not only to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, but I knew it was time to repair the realtionship I had broken with both our Lord and our Father.
     In 1993 I had made my way to the altar and I asked for forgiveness. I was saved. I was 22. I tried to read the Bible and to be honoest I was so confused. I had questions upon questions upon questions. So I turned to family members for answers. I was told exactly this, ” Julie, you are overthinking this. You have to trust the word and believe in the word” which quite frankly, left me more then confused how could I trust and believe when I didn’t have the slightest clue as to what the words were saying. I gave up.
     I spent the next 18 years bitter and angry. I would tell people “oh God and I have a relationship alright, we agree to disagree”. WOW! How completely ignorant that sounds now.
     In that moment back at the beginning of this year when I was on my knees letting it all out and asking once again for His forgiveness, I made a promise to myself and to God, I would not be deterred from rebuilding what I had broken.
     I spent months seeking out any and all information I could find to help me understand everything I could. From the writings of the Bible, to what being a Christian really is.
I bought a Bible Dictionary that is truely amazing. I have sought out historical information, you name it. I was thirsty, thirsty to know Him.
     In these beginning stages I was “called” to a church. I use the word called because I didn’t feel like this is where I belonged. But, a dear friend did and she was struggling. I walked with her until the day of her Baptizim. Then I found my church family, where I belong. With amazing people to help me along my journey.
     And a journey it is. In terms of my walk with God, I am still a toddler learning to maintain my balance. Some days are easy, others I stumble quite a bit. Yet, with each stumble, I am learning something new and amazing, as well as building my relationship with God.
     There are days I still feel so alone and sometimes abandoned. Not by God. I feel Him holding my hand or carrying my heavy heart. You see, I feel abandoned by my earthly friends. My chosen sisters. Those who I love and adore and have forever. I don’t tell you this so feel sympathy for me. None is needed. Things happen in life, which being human we allow the emotional aspect of those things or situations to completely take us over. My love for these friends has never wavered. But I can’t allow their choice of going with their feelings of the moment to interfer with my new journey. Those days my feelings of loss and saddness take over, I know without a doubt my Lord and Savior is carrying me through.
     July 1rst my Mother & I were baptized, along with 2 amazing people within our church family. I will tell you, I was scared to death. Will I drown? Will I meet Gods expectations? Will I fall? So many things went through my heart, my soul and my mind. For me, my baptizm was an offering of sorts to God that I have every intention of keeping my promise.
     I am still learning and eagerly yearning for more knowledge. Excited in my growth process. And I am not one bit ashamed to tell you I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the sacrifes both he and our Father have made and continue to make so that I can grow in His likeness and follow the path he has planned for me. I still haven’t seen what that path is, but I know with patience and commitment someday it will be revealed. And oh what a glorious day that will be. Because I have no doubt with Jesus Christ beside me I will have the strength and knowledge to walk that path just as He has planned for me.
     For now, I am happy with who I am. Confident in the rebuilding my relationship with God. And I have faith in Him and all he carries me through.
     May God bless you in all things you do!
     Much love to each and everyone of you!

Bye Bye Birdie

     The sun slowly rose over a warm blanket of green grass just as the last morning dew fell slowly down the edge of a burning red day lilly.
     Today is the day.
     The young fledgling looked over the edge of the nest, toward the ground. Then she turned and looked back at Momma Sparrow. With a faint in her heart and a tear in her eye, Momma Sparrow gave the alert. It’s your time. You are prepared for your new journey. I believe in you.
     With a call of acknowledgement and love the fledgling, Birdie, hopped on the edge. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and jumped. She felt the drop and for a brief moment forgot to catch the wind. Quickly she opened her eyes, raised her head and spread her wings. She climbed and climbed racing toward the rising sun. She twisted and turned, rose and dipped with each change of the wind. Before long she was soaring high in the morning sky.
     Back at the nest high in an old Weeping Willow tree, Momma Sparrow watched proudly as her little Birdie flew free. With each pass a tear rose in her heart. With each tear blew a memory of love through her feathers.
     Birdie landed high atop an old Oak tree. As she caught her breath she glanced back at the old Willow tree. At that moment, she knew. She was free. Free to be Birdie as Birdie was meant to be. And while Birdie will spread her wings and fly, she will pass over that old Weeping Willow tree every morning just as the sun rises over a warm blanket of green grass and the last of the morning dew falls slowly down the edge of a burning red day lilly.