14 Months to a Healthy 50

Jules Healthy Road to 50

So, I am doing a thing. Which, is not unusual for me, seems I am ALWAYS doing a thing. This one, this one is going to make a difference.

The link above explains things in as much detail as I could give last night.

I now have a daily video diary up and going over on youtube. I only have Day 1 on file, but Day 1 is very important. I don’t know if I mentioned in my previous post, but recently I was told by two separate doctors that I need to lose weight. I took it very hard.

I am really good at seeking out quick fixes and the latest trends. I have spent way TOO much money on fad diets and work out equipment. My husband told me I am not allowed to spend anymore money on diet stuff. My NP told me I need to learn to look at food differently, to completely change my way of thinking and eating.

Now I am at a real crossroad because I am the queen of procrastination. Add to that I have little self motivation. AND this past year has just been a roller coaster ride of emotions and exhaustion and hot flashes and I don’t even know. I have not been myself. This is where the video diary comes into play. I have to keep myself accountable. I have to keep myself motivated. My plan is each day I will do my video diary. The next day I will come over here to my blog and log all the daily things. Food, exercise, whatever else that the video just really can not capture in it’s full awesomeness.

I asked in my first video for followers, which as of yet I do not have, please not be mean, but any and all advice is welcome.

My FIFTIETH birthday is November 11, 2020. That is my goal date. My goal isn’t necessarily a number on the scale or a size in the closet, but more a healthier, leaner happier me. I want to be Fit and Fabulous at 50! I have a LONG way to go, but I am determined to get there.

If you would take a minute and jet over to youtube and follow me. Share if you will!

Peace my beautiful friends!!!wpid-262901_10151176579058415_1137255851_n.jpg

Going Clean

Anyone who knows me, knows I am always up to something. Always trying something new. Desperate to find my fit. Which, drives my husband INSANE.

I have been going through some medical issues, I am sure you will hear all about them. These changes have brought me to try and find a healthier way of life. My Nurse Practitioner actually said these words to me: ” Julie, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because I really like you, BUT you have to not only lose weight; but retrain your brain to think healthy…..AND you have to exercise” This shit didn’t happen until I hit 45 and quit smoking.

That is no joke. I threaten my body from time to time that I am going to start smoking again. It laughs at me and says ” watch this bitch” and throws a migraine at me. I laugh back tell it ” please that move quit working 5 years ago” , which is mostly true, I have a high tolerance for pain anymore. BUT, I HATE to itch. OMG it will throw me into a panic attack in a nano second. So, guess what the body throws at me…..you guessed it- the itchies!! So,  I throw tequila at it. It is truly a love hate relationship.

I have no real idea where to begin or how. I have researched everything to death and back. And my family is NOT down with me removing the Hostess products from our house.

Where are the days when I could remove ONE item from my menu for the week and lose 5 pounds?? This shit is for the birds I tell you. I so much as LOOK at a Hostess product and I gain 5 pounds.

You add into the equation that I am not seriously motivated to make the change and already we have failure. Days like this I want to beat my head against a wall. Or just stay in bed. Which neither are an option!

So, we are off to the races my beautiful friends. Let’s see what and where this adventure takes me!

Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

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To Fly

Do you ever feel like your standing on the edge of earth but you can’t decide wether you should spread your wings and fly or just scream? This is how I have felt all summer.

There are days when I swear I can feel something out there trying to pull me in. I have no idea what or maybe who. It’s just this heavy knotted up something sitting just within my chest. Just sitting there heavy as can be and barely tugging. And it’s so exhausting. Trying to figure out what in the hell it means.

Then there are days I could just curl up in a ball and cry. Sleep and cry. All curled up. With my super thick blanket as my armor against whatever hell the world wants to throw at me that day.

Occasionally there are those days that just whirl by like the wind blew me in circles leaving me dazed and confused.

Not all days are bad or sideways. There are days of happiness, joy and laughter ribboned and twisted throughout all the others.

And still I come back to days of standing on the edge of the earth. I find myself more and more asking all the what’s and why’s of life. Sometimes I think I am really in this world all alone, it’s spinning and spinning and everyone else took the leap, and are now soaring to new heights. And here I stand. Trying to make sense of it all. Wandering. Dreaming. Wishing. But never able to fly.

It’s scary.

The days only seem to go by faster, never slowing down. Never allowing time to take a breath and re center ones self. Constantly in motion. So I stand and scream. And no one listens.

Manuals for the Living

My brain sometimes thinks sideways and upside down, and as crazy as it may sound backwards periodically. Most generally, my husband and I have completely opposite views. His is more in a straight tidy well organized line, with labels and tabs and an index Incase you get lost. Baffles my mind to bits. My line zig zags circles around and around comes back this way then back that way, you get the idea, and I guarantee you I drive him insane. I think he is so hard to read and figure out and that I am an open book, he sees it the other way around.

So, my mind gets to wandering. What if we all came with a manual when we were born. What if. Let’s say that manual covered absolutely everything about you and your life. In general terms. This manual covers everything from how you were going to be birthed to how you were going to die and everything in between. Again, in generalizations, like you would reach the height of 5’2 before you reach adulthood, but will shrink to the height of 4’8 before your death. With no specifics such as you will reach 5’2 in the 5th grade and appear to be an Amazon woman towering above all your classmates, however; they will all pass you up one day. And you will have 3.2 children before the age of 40 but no more specifics, especially what the heck the .2 is. You will be born in the back seat of a car ( which I was not) and you will die in the back seat of a car. No specifics again, just general information. You will obtain x amount of schooling. You get the idea. All generalized info. With some added things such as say, you will be deathly allergic to chocolate. Just enough information to not be enough information.

Would you want to have this manual for any reason? Would you want it to help you with the early years of being a new parent? If you did accept the manual to help you with the early years with your babies, would you want to pass the manual on to them as they got older, if so, when would you pass it on to them? If you made the decision to not pass it on to them, and they learn upon having their own child that there is such a manual; what would you say to them then?

I have thought and thought about this. I have known several people who have committed suicide. Had they had manuals that stated their lives would end by their own hand, would it have changed things? Would they have taken their lives sooner? Or never?

There are times I think I wish I could go back to a certain time in my life and know what I know now. But if I could do that how would it make my life different now? My guess is, it would change it but not for the better. I know someone who was constantly trying to find a way to get rich, had a law suit against a former employer, netted him far less then he had hoped. Had another law suit against a driver who rear ended him, still had to work. Then one day while out on his Harley a little old lady crossed the Center line and struck him. He fought for his life. Lost a leg. Mangled him up really bad. Was in the hospital forever it seemed then rehab, and still had troubles today with his prosthetic leg. But, he’s a millionaire-ish now. If he’d have had a manual, how would that have changed his look at life?

I’ve learned that we go through the crazy things and the bad things and even the good things to better ourselves. Learn lessons from those things. Move forward. If we have a manual that guides us, where would we really end up? Better? Worse?

I’m good with who I am now. I’m not perfect, but I’m a better person then I use to be. And I went through a lot of shit to get here. Not all bad shit. And not all someone else’s shit, I stirred just as much as anyone else did. So I think for me, I wouldn’t want that manual. Because it would make me afraid. Afraid to live each day to it’s fullest. Afraid to take chances when maybe I can’t really afford them. Afraid to laugh or afraid to cry. And that’s certainly not living.

So, I’m gonna keep on living each day as God gives it to me, thanking him all the way. And I’m going to keep screwing up and praying He helps me through it!!!

✌🏼😘

It’s What We Do

I want to take this time to talk to you about Real Housewives. By REAL, I mean REAL.

We all know all the different shows from all the different large cities…. ” Real Housewives of……” I loved those shows. Was addicted to those shows. Oh my GAWD I wanted to be IN one of those shows. I watched every single one of them, back when I was a Stay -At-Home Mom. I got sucked in by all the glamor and glitz. I did not know a soul, housewife, working mom, stay-at-home mom NO ONE who even came close to anyone of these woman. At the time, I lived in a trailer. YUP, Mobile HOME, had wheels on the bottom. I always thought ” you want housewife, come to the 47666 and follow me around, our shopping sprees takes us to Goodwill!”

I am not going to talk anymore about those house wives because someone somewhere will certainly get their feelings hurt and I have nothing anyone else would want to sue me for!

In my life, I work full time outside of our home. I take care of all the bills, finances, housework, kids things, mowing, pretty much everything except working on the appliances and vehicles; which usually I call someone to come and do. My husband, he just gets to go to work and that is it! And I am jealous of that sometimes. I will tell you, I screw up our account at least twice a year. And he gets so mad at me each time I swear he is going to divorce me. He thinks I am spending large amounts on STUFF when what it always comes down to is, I got lazy or sick or behind or all the above and stopped keeping track of what was going where who was spending what on what and why and just watched the balance until it got to the OH SHIT level. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it now, but it is going to happen again, I guarantee you. He refuses to help me, says I won’t learn how to do it and do it right until I keep doing it. What sense does that even make? UGH!

I can not tell you how many pizzas I have burned because I am tired and get side tracked when I go into the other room to fold laundry and throw it on everyone’s beds. I can set the timer on the stove and swear it’s the dryer yelling at me and at that moment I just do not care that the clothes are dried. Then finally someone yells ” WHAT’s ON FIRE!” In our first few years in our house we had ADT. I can only imagine how many bets went on when our house came up on screen as having a fire. Our towns 911 dispatch operator would call me personally to see if there really was a fire or if it was just me cooking again. My husband was mortified by it. I thought it was funny. I mean why in the hell did they put the smoke alarm 3 feet from the stove in the first place.

I can make a Sears service man cry. At one point he threw up his hands and said ” I give up” at which point he declared our washing machine ” uneconomical to repair”; and Sears issued us a full refund on the machine, PLUS what we paid for the warranty. The machine in question was only six months old and I had somehow managed to blow apart the concrete arm that held the tub in place. True story. That was six years ago. In that six years we have gone through three more washers. My husband and the lady who owns our local Sears Home Store went round and round about my abilities to operate the machines correctly. Her loss, we now purchase our appliances from Menards.

I think about all the things that I have gotten myself into, and out of. From the things listed above to ruined laundry, lost pets, broken hearts, skinned knees, first days of kindergarten to graduation days, science projects gone wrong to better grades now then I got when I was in school. There are days I am so tired I don’t know if I should cry, laugh or scream. I have many days when I REALLY want a margarita. Then I think of all the butterfly kisses, stomps in the mud puddles, laughs until we cried, sleepless nights, early mornings, drives through the country until a very sleepy someone falls asleep…………. Then I think of all the times I wished time away and I cry. My soul cries. My heart cries.

All the things I wish I could undo or take back, erase and move on from. It’s all part of being a mom, a wife, a housewife, mother, disciplinarian, cook, referee, boo boo kisser, laundry sorter, dishwasher, hair fixer, tear drop catcher……how ever you want to classify me, I gladly accept the job. Yes, there are still going to be days I wish I lived at the beach, I am always going to want to live at the beach, but I want to drag all my little bugs with me. I love my life, however you categorize it. And the more I go over all those little things, and big things we do and will continue to do as REAL HOUSEWIVES, I wouldn’t trade any of it to be big and fancy and controversial, ( which for some reason reminds me of when Chloe and I went into a second hand store a while back and she said to me, ” isn’t this for poor people?” and we both looked up and saw a purse with a huge price sign that said $700 USED……she looked at me and we both laughed…..who in their right minds pays $700 for a used purse????) So, I will probably keep on complaining at times, bragging at times, and planning a life I will never have on a beautiful tropical island, but I love being the housewife for the husband and children, and house I have.

 

 

 

Wandering Mind at Graduation

This past weekend our youngest son graduated high school. It truly seemed so surreal. I was trying to remember how long had it been since I was sitting down on that floor with butterflies in my stomach. My niece apparently had the same thought because she turned around and said ” can you believe it has been 4 years since I graduated?” my answer to her was ” try 29 years”, and as I said it and heard it, it seemed impossible it had been that long.

I sat there listening to the speeches given by these children about life and it’s lessons and not taking the opportunity to seize every minute of life. And I thought to myself ” how in the hell do they know this”. And then my mind began to wander, did my class mates give the same speeches? Did I sit down on the floor and stare at them with no regard to what they were actually saying, let alone actually listening to it? Was my son taking in any of their words or was he doing the same as I had done, as I was doing at that moment?

I seriously wanted to stand up and shout LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!! Even though there was no way they knew the things they were saying were to be true, unless they had asked for life advice from close adults or googled speeches. One young man did in fact admit he googled ” Valedictorian Speeches”, his young man ended his speech with a prayer. I thought for sure the ceiling was going to cave in, but much to my surprise when he finished there was a load roaring echo of AMENs, followed by even louder claps. Very Cool!

Still, as I sat there and listened to more speeches, I wandered where time had gone. I asked myself why I hadn’t tried. Why I hadn’t taken any chances. Why had I been so scared to just take the first step regardless of whether it was followed by failure? I had no answer. I still have no answer. Then I began to wander, will my son settle into the same rut, the rut that just gets you by in life? Will he dare to dance on the edge of the limb and take that plunge? At that moment I think is when I cried. I heard them call his name, and hand him his diploma. And all those fears a mother has for her children were right there on my shoulder taunting me.

What I want for him is for him to always be happy. What I wish for him is that he lives life. Truly lives it. Not just survive in it. Not just go through the motions. Not just make everything alright from what you have. But live life everyday. In every way. Grab ahold of it and ride it’s tail in the wind until you make it to the point of guiding it. I wish we all would have done that.

I can’t be sure where he will go and how he will get there, this is his time, his way. I will pray each and everyday that his way never leaves him lost, lonely, scared, sick or broken. If by chance it does, I will continue to do all I can, and all he allows me to do to pick him back up again.

No, No, NO, You Got It All Wrong

Surely by now most of you know of the recording where some people hear Laurel and others hear Yanny. Personally, I heard Yanny.

That got me thinking. About song lyrics. I spent an hour searching and laughing so hard I was in tears.

I don’t know why my brain thought of song lyrics, it’s on its own track most days. First thing that came to my mind was “Wrapped up like a douche when you’re rover in the night” made me laugh and laugh. I can’t tell you how many millions of times both my husband and I belted that line out like we knew what the hell we were singing. I mean does that even make sense? No. Didn’t have to we had fun singing it. Actual lyrics are ” Blinded by the light revved up like a deuce another runner in the night” Makes about as much sense as what we were singing.

Then it made me think of ” I was Jack and you were dyingggggg” First time I heard that song I was thinking why in the hell is she dying?? Then I had to laugh at myself. I mean Duh. JCM’s Jack and Diane beat is clearly playing in the back ground so ” I was Jack and you were Diane” makes way more sense but go ahead listen to it and tell me you don’t hear him saying ” I was Jack and you were dyinggggg”

So, I got to googling. This is where the real laughter came in.

Apparently most people think Elton John wants Tony Danza to hold him closer ….. Hold me closer Tony Danza is actually ” Hold me closer Tiny Dancer” which I hear the correct lyrics in that song, one of my all time favorites except for the Tim McGraw version, not a fan of that one.

See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen which is actually ” See that girl watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen”

Now, if you aren’t singing these as we go along, just stop reading now and go somewhere else, you are no fun and probably not laughing either.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese 😂😂

I am a big Queen fan. Love Freddie. And I am here to tell you some of his songs are out there in terms of the wording and the story line, not gonna lie I get most of them all wrong but this one had me rolling. Kicking your car all over the place we will we will… actual ( which makes just as much sense ) ” kicking your can all over the place..”

And……. I Like Big Butts in a Can of Limes!!!! 😂😂😂😂

So, tell me your favorite misheard lyric.

✌🏼 Jules