14 Months to a Healthy 50

Jules Healthy Road to 50

So, I am doing a thing. Which, is not unusual for me, seems I am ALWAYS doing a thing. This one, this one is going to make a difference.

The link above explains things in as much detail as I could give last night.

I now have a daily video diary up and going over on youtube. I only have Day 1 on file, but Day 1 is very important. I don’t know if I mentioned in my previous post, but recently I was told by two separate doctors that I need to lose weight. I took it very hard.

I am really good at seeking out quick fixes and the latest trends. I have spent way TOO much money on fad diets and work out equipment. My husband told me I am not allowed to spend anymore money on diet stuff. My NP told me I need to learn to look at food differently, to completely change my way of thinking and eating.

Now I am at a real crossroad because I am the queen of procrastination. Add to that I have little self motivation. AND this past year has just been a roller coaster ride of emotions and exhaustion and hot flashes and I don’t even know. I have not been myself. This is where the video diary comes into play. I have to keep myself accountable. I have to keep myself motivated. My plan is each day I will do my video diary. The next day I will come over here to my blog and log all the daily things. Food, exercise, whatever else that the video just really can not capture in it’s full awesomeness.

I asked in my first video for followers, which as of yet I do not have, please not be mean, but any and all advice is welcome.

My FIFTIETH birthday is November 11, 2020. That is my goal date. My goal isn’t necessarily a number on the scale or a size in the closet, but more a healthier, leaner happier me. I want to be Fit and Fabulous at 50! I have a LONG way to go, but I am determined to get there.

If you would take a minute and jet over to youtube and follow me. Share if you will!

Peace my beautiful friends!!!wpid-262901_10151176579058415_1137255851_n.jpg

Going Clean

Anyone who knows me, knows I am always up to something. Always trying something new. Desperate to find my fit. Which, drives my husband INSANE.

I have been going through some medical issues, I am sure you will hear all about them. These changes have brought me to try and find a healthier way of life. My Nurse Practitioner actually said these words to me: ” Julie, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because I really like you, BUT you have to not only lose weight; but retrain your brain to think healthy…..AND you have to exercise” This shit didn’t happen until I hit 45 and quit smoking.

That is no joke. I threaten my body from time to time that I am going to start smoking again. It laughs at me and says ” watch this bitch” and throws a migraine at me. I laugh back tell it ” please that move quit working 5 years ago” , which is mostly true, I have a high tolerance for pain anymore. BUT, I HATE to itch. OMG it will throw me into a panic attack in a nano second. So, guess what the body throws at me…..you guessed it- the itchies!! So,Β  I throw tequila at it. It is truly a love hate relationship.

I have no real idea where to begin or how. I have researched everything to death and back. And my family is NOT down with me removing the Hostess products from our house.

Where are the days when I could remove ONE item from my menu for the week and lose 5 pounds?? This shit is for the birds I tell you. I so much as LOOK at a Hostess product and I gain 5 pounds.

You add into the equation that I am not seriously motivated to make the change and already we have failure. Days like this I want to beat my head against a wall. Or just stay in bed. Which neither are an option!

So, we are off to the races my beautiful friends. Let’s see what and where this adventure takes me!

Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

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Feeling Bad

Do you ever feel like just throwing your hands in the air and screaming ” YOU WIN!!!!” ? That is pretty much where I am at the moment.

I am so tired. Exhausted does not even begin to describe how tired I am. I need a break. When I say a break, I mean that across the damn board. A break from absolutely everything. A permanent vacation from the real world. A break in finances so I can have a break from the real world. A break in my health. You get the idea.

Somewhere around seven years ago, I started feeling bad. Little things. Things I really couldn’t explain, nor could I find good descriptives of how I felt. Finally, I just started telling my husband and my doctor that I have bad blood. That is exactly how it felt. I swear I could FEEL my blood trying its hardest to push through my body. Trying so hard it made everything hurt. My biggest complaint at the time was my left leg ached so bad I would just sit and cry. I felt like I needed it rubbed, so I would ask my husband to rub it and it took all I had to not come up swinging and shouting. It hurt to just touch it. This wasn’t all the time, it came and went in spells. I had all kinds of crazy tests ran. One they actually hooked me up to some machine and inserted needles that shocked my nerves. Talk about fun. And, of course nothing. I was out of my mind.

Life went on and I learned to just deal with whatever the day decided to bring.

September 23, 2012 I decided I didn’t want to smoke anymore. Quit cold turkey. That, is shear hell, but effective. That journey is a whole different story.

About six, maybe eight months later I had routine blood work. I got a call to come in and talk to my doctor. I figured she wanted to adjust my thyroid medicine. I go in, sit down and she tells me my platelet numbers are sky high. She said they had always been slightly elevated, but that is normal for a smoker. Now, that I am no longer a smoker she started going over my numbers over the last two years and the numbers have been going up and up, and have not gone down since I had quit smoking. She had no idea what was going on, so she sent me to a blood specialist. I was over the top scared to death, because of course, I had been googling all of this. Blood specialist said there was nothing wrong with my blood, no cancer, nothing that he could help me with. He said my problem is that my bone marrow makes too many platelets which is making everything else out of control. He sends me to another doctor who sends me to another doctor, and eventually I end up at a Rheumatologist. Well, he takes one look at all my tests results and tells me I have CREST Syndrome, which is a whole bunch of disorders wrapped up into one nice little package.

It falls under Auto Immune, rheumatic, chronic, esophageal, lung, and heart diseases. And, I am sure I probably left something out. I have bad days, very bad days, and occasionally good days. Life is REALLY great when I have more then one good day in the same week.

When I was first diagnosed we tried a few different medications to try and help with the raynauds and others to help with the pain and inflammation. I hated the side effects of all of them. I refuse to take any medications for any of these things, except the acid reflux. I do take an over the counter for that. There are some days when I swear the acid reflux is going crush me to death. It has been really bad lately. EVERYTHING has been really bad lately. But, I have to participate in the real world, so I have to force myself out of bed and into life.

Over the last six years I have been on a weight gain, weight loss roller coaster. I have tried absolutely everything. I start to lose some pounds and my body starts laughing at me., and sends me a week long present. INFLAMMATION! It is so miserable. I mean it makes it hard to bend my fingers or toes, it just makes me miserable. To make matters worse that is when the bad blood episodes hit. I cry alot. In the dark where no one sees me. My family does not understand. To them, I ALWAYS feel bad, So, I try as hard as I can not to complain, or let them know how bad I feel. Lately, I just can not stand being in my own skin.

I found out a few weeks ago, I have mono. YAY! Thank you God of health. My doctor told me to go home and go to bed for a month. HA!!! As if I could REALLY do that. If my insurance would pay for it, I would pack us all up and move to the beach, rest there until the day I die. But, that is never going to happen, and I HAVE to go to work. I have been so inflammed for about three weeks now. I can not begin to tell you how bad I feel. And because I like to add insult to injury, I have been trying so hard to lose weight. Damn scale is going to get a bullet in it REALLY soon!!

I have researched food and exercise and auto immune and everything else. There is SOOOO much information out there, sifting through it all is a nightmare in itself. There is a diet protocal for persons with an auto immune disorder. Yet, when you search for that it isn’t a universal diet or way of eating, every other doctor has a different idea on what you should eat and what you shouldn’t. I paid for a nutritionist for three months, did not help. So, I have come to the conclusion I am in this all by myself. I suppose it is going to be a process of trial and error, and elimination. Which, is probably going to take forever, but hopefully I will make progress. Progress would be, lose weight and feel better. The part that scares me is exercise. UGH. I know nothing about weights, and I am not hiring a trainer.

So, I suppose much like everything else, I am in this alone. If you have read all of this, and you have suggestions, or advice, please pass it to me, I am game to try just about anything at this point. If you don’t have any suggestions or answers, share this, maybe someone you know somewhere does! And, I will try to remember to document my progress or failure here!

Peace!

Prepping for Prep

Tomorrow is grocery day. πŸ™„

After going to the grocery store I will have to prep for the next week, or at least for my lunches. If I do not prep, I’ll eat anything I can throw in a bag and take to work with me. 

For some of you this prep process may be easy, but for me it is extremely time consuming. I did a great job for about 2 weeks when I tried to eat completely clean. Turns out I have to prep for prep. Healthy eating is very expensive. I have to figure out meals for the entire week and break those down then break it down farther into what I can actually afford and what I’ll really eat. πŸ™ That in itself should earn a person ” automatic calorie burn” points. Especially given I am not an organized person. Nope. Not one little bit. I make my list I always start it with ” Milk” and instead of following the store from that point I go to  razors, dog food, sour cream, cereal, chips, body wash….. you get the point. Even when I try to put my mind to grouping things together as they belong, I stand in the store and look at my list like ” WTF IS THIS SHIT?” My brain can’t comprehend it, so I’m loose in Hell Mart with a list I can’t follow and a shopping cart EARLY SATURDAY MORNING. Periodically I check the list to see if maybe I managed to be somewhere on track just to notice SHIT I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DAIRY SECTION and since I’m back tracking remember the tea bags!!! I get half way back to the dairy section and get side tracked by the stand of pepperonis they have smack dab in the middle of nowhere so you damn near run over them. Get home no Mozzarella and nontea bags. Every week! 

Yet, I still do all this researching recipes and calories and fat and carbs and on and on to prep for prepping just to nlownit all out of the water . BUT I do have cute little pink and blue divided containers for my prepped meals. 😬 ( which I was informed I did not need!) πŸ˜”

Oh how I wish I could afford to pay someone to just prep for me. 

Changing the subject, I received lots of feedback on my post from yesterday. Thank you all. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that struggles with the same issues. Sadly, today I have ate badly all day. It’s been one of those days. Bought me some Muddie Buddies and ate the whole bag. Yup. With a Diet Coke. Then I went and got my eyebrows waxed. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ 

I also received lots of advice, which I absolutely appreciate. It’s hard for me not to buy snacks and bring them in the house. Not because of me, but because this is what I hear :

” I thought you went to the store? What the hell did you buy because there’s nothing in this cabinet!”

” there’s nothing to eat!”

” Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean we have to starve!”

And the comments go on and on. So, I try to buy things I THINK I won’t eat. Strangely enough, when I am emotionally eating or blind eating as I am calling it, it doesn’t really matter if it’s my favorite or not. 

I must tell you, I kind of lied. As I try to work through this eating issue I have and eat healthy I will be on the Omni Drops in hopes of losing a few pounds to get things kicked into gear. I’m still not referring to it as a diet though. 

So, hope you still stick with me as I go through this day by day. 

I didn’t keep track of food today, as I started the day with awesome French toast and somewhere there in the middle I had a bag of Muddy Buddies I didn’t really want to know how many calories or carbs I took in!!!

The Road to LosingΒ 

        There comes a point in our lives that we stand in our own shadow. My point came 4 years ago. My shadow, smoking. I decided to take the bull by the horn and quit, cold turkey. 

        I nearly lost my mind. I couldn’t figure out how to cope. How to deal with all the emotions I was going through. So, I ate. And I ate. I gained a total of 30 pounds. I was a whopping 10 pounds heavier then I was with each of my pregnancies on the day I gave birth! πŸ˜” 

        My shadow shifted. No longer did I stand in fear of what cigarettes would do to my health, my skin, my clothes, etc. Now, instand looking in the mirror in complete disbelief of what I see.

        It isn’t what society thinks of me that puts me in that thinking mode. I seriously could care less about societies rules and expectations placed on women and our bodies. It’s what I think and feel and see of myself. I hate my body. 

        I have spent a lot of money and time in the last 2 years trying like mad to get all this excess weight off. 

        Last year I lost 20 pounds following a Low Carb High Fat diet. Then the holidays came and bam! 10 pounds back on. Now I’m stuck. I’ll go down a few pounds and back up a few. Up and down. Up and down. 

        The last month I have been faithfully following a low carb high fat diet again. Initially, I lost 9 pounds. Then: up and down up and down. Not one single chest day or cheat meal or chest anything. Nothing. 

        I’m stuck.

        I have no idea on this earth what I need to do or should be doing or shouldn’t. I will be 46 next month and I want to feel better. I want to look better. 

        Someone, please help me!!!

        Things I’ve Learned About Running

        I am no fitness expert. Not a running expert either. In fact I know nothing about fitness and only a slight bit more then that about running.
        I’m not even sure what I have began is considered running at all. It’s probably more of a light jog on the treadmill. I’ve only been at it for two weeks. My goal is to run a 5 K in May.
        All that being said, the following is what I have learned about running thus far!
        β€’ Choose your playlist very carefully! You want music that will keep you motivated, but will NOT bring out the 80’s head banging or hustle & flow moves because THAT does not end well on a treadmill!
        β€’ Have a water bottle which allows you to squirt the water into your mouth versus having to unscrew the lid and drink. On the plus side of the latter, you can play it off as you really worked up one heck of a sweat! πŸ˜‰
        β€’ Wear TWO sports bras- that should be self explanatory
        β€’ DO NOT GET ON THE TREADMILL WHEN IT IS SET ON FULL SPEED AHEAD! EVEN IF YOU ARE HOLDING ON- SUPER BAD IDEA!
        β€’ Do not position the treadmill so it is anywhere near the ping pong table, that is if you have one. For some reason the person on the side which has them facing you occasionally feels the need to slam the ball as if they are attempting to hit a home run- and yes I am aware home runs don’t exist in ping pong- that’s my point!
        β€’ I won’t bring up the dart board, now that I think about it, probably should move the treadmill at this point!
        β€’ When your dog comes up and sits and stares at you, do not bend over to let him! Even if you are holding o !
        β€’ Stretch before & after
        β€’ Stay hydrated ( remember squirt bottle)
        β€’ Breath thru both your nose and mouth, more oxygen, less of a headache!
        β€’ Set realistic goals
        β€’ ALWAYS potty TWICE before you get on the treadmill, cause on e you get going you are still going to think you have to go!
        My final words of novice wisdom: try to time your running playlist so you end your run with a song like Queens ” We Are The Champions” or Kid Rocks ” Never Met A Mother Fucker Quite Like Me ” Trust me, when you feel like your either going to puke or passout and you’ve lost your HMPF with one minute left- one of those songs come on and you push yourself through that last minute and get off the treadmill with an attitude like HELL YEAH I DID IT!
        Until next time, keep your feet on the ground!