The Experience

Recently, my two sons and I attended a Kid Rock concert. Before the concert, I won a contest through The Rebel Soldiers Fan Club ( Kid Rocks’ fan club) called ” The Ultimate Fan Opportunity” for weeks they kept secret what the actual prize was. Then as other concert winners were attending their prospective concerts, information was leaking here and there. Probably, mostly because I was poking around trying to find out what EXACTLY was going to go down. Not because I enjoy taking the element of surprise out of things, but because I had to convince my husband I didn’t sign up for a full blown orgy back stage with Kid Rock, because the contest CLEARLY stated the opportunity was for the winner ONLY not the winner plus one or the winner plus their party, just THE WINNER, that was it. Therefor, I HAD to track down information, otherwise this winner was NOT going to see the prize!

I had only bought two tickets to the concert because when I bought them, I had no idea there was going to be a contest, little alone that I would win one. The plan all along was for me and our 13 year old son to go. Over the years, he has begged to go to a Kid Rock concert with me. In 2011 my husband and I went to the Born Free concert in Evansville, I promised our son then, the very next concert he could go to. Turned out, I lied. My husband and I went to Noblesville in August of 2011 for another Kid Rock concert. So, when the Rebel Soul tour was announced, it was decided at that moment, me and my son were going to Rock it together!

Then I won the contest, my husbands comment ” What about Trent? You know he won’t sit there by himself” All my joy was sucked out of me! And NOT A SOUL that I knew would agree to leave their seat and come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert ( even though we had damn good seats) and no one I knew that wasn’t already going to the concert would agree to buy a ticket and then come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert. It was as if everyone was saying, ” Screw You!” It literally came down to a few hours before the concert, I begged and begged my oldest son PLEASE buy a cheap seat ticket. They are ONLY $22 PLEASE!!!!!!! He FINALLY caved! And, I think even he is happy he did.

The following paragraphs are copied from a text I sent to my friend, she sent me a text, and I quote; ” So tell me about how it all went down”…….and I did, then I copied it into a note on my Facebook page, adding The Rest of the story. Now, Here I am copying it to my blog, with The Beginning of the story! Image

Well, Born Free had just started and I felt someone pull on my shirt ( which I already knew security was coming to get me during that song) so I turn and the guy asked Julie? I said yes he said follow me so I followed him down the steps ( we were the 10 th row off the floor) to the floor and all the way to the back of the floor area where there was the other fan club winner and a girl and her boyfriend that had won thru Harley Davidson……
So we just stand there thru most of the song then the guy says ” the next song is Bawtidabaw, when the explosion goes off we go… Follow me” and I was like oh man I wish I hadn’t left my phone with Johnny cause I so need to video this for Tyler Bates!……
So then all these sparkler things start going off all across the stage and Kid Rock comes shooting out of the bottom of the stage ( which is also how he started the show so damn cool) and then BOOM! And we were off dang near sprinting to the front diving our way thru people( not really but I did have to push one chick out of my way)
We get up to the front and walk behind a curtain. And there I am standing UNDER the stage and this guy in a suit comes up to me sticks his hand out and says ” I’m Gio, are you Julie?” And I thought SHIT I’M GETTING KICKED OUT ALREADY! Gio is Head of Kid Rocks personal security! So he says they ( and points to the stage) will go off stage change then they will come back out and they are going to play Happy New Year you guys are going to stand by the Harley and just have a good time like your at a New Years party and they gave us Happy New Years hats……
So the song ends and we walk up on stage all the lights are off and it was so damn cool! A couple minutes went by I guess then the band and Kid Rock come out from a curtain with their gold coats on. And this Gio grabs my arm and says you here…. Then they started playing and I started singing and clapping and waving my hands and jumping up and down ……..
The other fan member that won she was like 70 and so darn cute , the sax player kept turning around and smiling winked a couple times then moved to the other side of the stage! Ha! Then the guitar player came our way and he nodded and smiled and soon he too moved away! And yup KR did look our way, but that was it. No HEY GIRL WHAT’S UP! But he was like 5 feet away from me at one point! They turned the lights on and I could see J2 and Trent then I really went crazy and they were crazy waving back!
They kept drawing the song out, so what is normally a 3 minute song was like 10 minutes, when the song was over we were escorted off stage had our picture taken, not with Kid Rock and told thank you and good bye! And I was HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

I hadn’t been to Ford yet so I had no idea if our seats were good or not good and the chart you couldn’t really tell. When Trent and I were walking down the steps and we got half way down I turned and said ” NO WAY!” He said WHAT? I about started crying when we finally got to our seats! I mean they seriously could not have been better! Well, yes they could have but not anywhere near my price range! I’m not gonna lie and say I wish I could have gotten a hand shake, but I’m good
( as told by me to Stacy via text message…. She asked how it all went down, so I told her!)
And here is the rest of the story, which I left out of the text messages.
As I am heading back up the steps to where our seats were, I was diverted to a different set of stairs because someone in our section had passed out. However, my sons were waiting for me when I came out of the stairway. And it was on. I was all chatter like I had just drank a gallon of Red Bull followed by a dozen of those energy shot things! I could not shut up. I thought as we hit the doors I was gonna freeze walking back to the Jeep, but nope! I was good to go. And the three of us laughed and laughed and were just crazy ridiculous the whole walk back to our ride. I can’t speak for my boys but I had had the most amazing night! The whole night was just epic! ( I had wished several times that Scott was there, so he was in my heart) I can’t explain how full my heart and my soul felt. It was like, a release….. Not the end of a story, but THE opportunity to turn the page to the next chapter. For some, you are probably thinking this girl is nuts, which I am, but others who are reading this understand exactly what I mean. EPIC!
And now, the REST of the REST of the story. As we are rolling up the highway I say ” who’s window is down?” J2 says ” his” and points to the back I didn’t think anything at first, thought Trent was hot. Didnt seem odd. Then I said ” what’s that smell? OMG! Are you throwing up?” And he was! So we pulled into Windmill. I went in got him some water and napkins and mistakenly lead the cashier to believe I go to EVERY Kid Rock concert, as in crazed psycho fan following him around the country when I just meant all the ones he has in Evansville!….oops! Apparently, he had been feeling sick to his stomach every since we sat down at the concert. I told him NEVER do that again! EVER! He said WHAT? I told him no one and nothing not even Kid Rock is or ever will be more important then my kids and he should not have had to sit thru all that feeling as bad as he did, we would have left! I then felt like the worse parent ever!
This part, I think all of you will love. Chloe gets off the bus today, first thing she says is ” why did Trent stay home?” So I explained how he got sick, she smiled that evil little smile and said….” HMPF, sounds like Trent doesn’t like Kid Rock either!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Image( that’s me in the orange shirt, which just so happens to be a Harley Davidson TShirt!….I have just as many of them as I do Kid Rock tshirts, ok, well maybe not, but I have a few!)

May 2018

Crazy. I was. I can not tell you how insanely over the top crazy I was for Kid Rock. No, I had no grand illusions of being whisked off to forever be his love slave. Ewe. I mean how many ” places” do you think THATS been in. 😲 Noway, I have loads of respect for my place. Anyway, in the deepest darkest depths of my own personal hell his voice was my everything. My best friend, my anger release, my sobering cries. Wow. His voice was all that held me in check. That night, April 1,2013 I was so high on life. I was going to be on stage with the voice that kept me sane. No bundle of nerves no jitters, calm as my soul could be without having been on the Gulf of Mexico. I was ready. And SLAM. No warning signs no sirens, just a big fat fuck you. That’s what it felt like. Right there. I mean just feet away, and not a nod, not a wave not a passing by high five NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Took me about 7 seconds on that stage to feel it. We were a mosquito buzzing around and around his nose, pissing him off. Resentment. Because he sold out. His backers required him to host the contests but they couldn’t force him to like it or give anything of himself. It hung heavy in the air. Took another 5 seconds to see I was feeling it right. And another .2 seconds to close it all off and say fuck you back. From that moment on Kid Rock as I use to see him was gone. The rest of my time on stage it was about me being on stage where my sons could see me and I could see them and we just danced and waved and acted stupid. It was the death of a friend. My over the edge excitement for anything Kid Rock died as well. For a few years I didn’t even listen to him. We still go to concerts, he puts on one hell of a show. Still dream of him playing for me at this huge 50 birthday party for me. But, he’s not all that anymore. He’s an asshole as I see it. Broke my spirit for awhile but that’s my fault. I put it all on his voice. I needed someone or something to help me through, and his voice did. So, for that I thank him. Still pisses me the hell off. What would it have hurt 2 seconds. *sigh* I dream too big I suppose.

Damn it one of these damn days I am going to be filthy rich with my own damn yacht sailing around one of those beautiful islands with my husband and kids and beautiful friends, ugly ones too, and Kid Rock is gonna wish he had high fives me that night……..

✌🏼

Things I’ve Learned About Running

I am no fitness expert. Not a running expert either. In fact I know nothing about fitness and only a slight bit more then that about running.
I’m not even sure what I have began is considered running at all. It’s probably more of a light jog on the treadmill. I’ve only been at it for two weeks. My goal is to run a 5 K in May.
All that being said, the following is what I have learned about running thus far!
• Choose your playlist very carefully! You want music that will keep you motivated, but will NOT bring out the 80’s head banging or hustle & flow moves because THAT does not end well on a treadmill!
• Have a water bottle which allows you to squirt the water into your mouth versus having to unscrew the lid and drink. On the plus side of the latter, you can play it off as you really worked up one heck of a sweat! 😉
• Wear TWO sports bras- that should be self explanatory
• DO NOT GET ON THE TREADMILL WHEN IT IS SET ON FULL SPEED AHEAD! EVEN IF YOU ARE HOLDING ON- SUPER BAD IDEA!
• Do not position the treadmill so it is anywhere near the ping pong table, that is if you have one. For some reason the person on the side which has them facing you occasionally feels the need to slam the ball as if they are attempting to hit a home run- and yes I am aware home runs don’t exist in ping pong- that’s my point!
• I won’t bring up the dart board, now that I think about it, probably should move the treadmill at this point!
• When your dog comes up and sits and stares at you, do not bend over to let him! Even if you are holding o !
• Stretch before & after
• Stay hydrated ( remember squirt bottle)
• Breath thru both your nose and mouth, more oxygen, less of a headache!
• Set realistic goals
• ALWAYS potty TWICE before you get on the treadmill, cause on e you get going you are still going to think you have to go!
My final words of novice wisdom: try to time your running playlist so you end your run with a song like Queens ” We Are The Champions” or Kid Rocks ” Never Met A Mother Fucker Quite Like Me ” Trust me, when you feel like your either going to puke or passout and you’ve lost your HMPF with one minute left- one of those songs come on and you push yourself through that last minute and get off the treadmill with an attitude like HELL YEAH I DID IT!
Until next time, keep your feet on the ground!

SHUT UP!

If you know me, or if you follow my blog, then you know I am a HUGE Kid Rock fan.
Big deal right? I mean most people are a huge fan of someone or something! What makes me any different or special in a fan kind of way? Nothing at all, on a normal day.
February 12th was NOT a normal day, and neither will April 1rst be.
April 1rst is the Kid Rock concert my son and I are going to.

I should probably rewind some of this so everyone else can understand what on earth I am talking about. I’m sure right now it all sounds either crazy or in code.
Being a member of the Kid Rock fan club, Rebel Soldiers, I was able to enter a contest called ” Once in a Lifetime Fan Opportunity”. Two winners would be picked for each concert venue already on the schedule. No other details. That’s it. So, of course I entered! I entered daily for a week, then they closed the contest.
Sometime after 9 PM on February 12 th I checked my emails via my phone before going to bed. I had an email that said I was a winner for the concert I had chosen. All I had to do was respond to the email with verification I was in fact a fan club member and I do have a ticket for that concert. My first reply to the email said this: ” SHUT UP! Is this for real!?” To which I received an immediate reply that yes it was in fact for real and please submit the verification requested. So I did.
I then receive an email telling me what to do on the day of the concert. That’s it! Nothing else.
Well, at that point I was thinking ” there is no way this is real” Which in checking the fan forum, apparently no one else believed it was real either. For some crazy odd reason, that told me it was in fact real. But why was it so cryptic? No one on the fan forum was talking about their experience at the concerts as winners. Why? Now, it passed cryptic and sailed straight on to creepy.
In talking with another fan, who won for the concert the night before the concert I won for, we wandered …. Are they kidnapping people? I mean cause Jeepers a Once in a Lifetime Fan Opportunity and no one is posting anywhere about it? No pictures NOTHING! ANYWHERE! So that’s it, now we know…. Someone is kidnapping Kid Rock fans! Great!
Luckily, someone finally posted!

It seems they expected way more than what the actual prize ended up being. I think the words they used were something like “complete bullshit, nowhere near the epic experience I thought I was going to get”
Now, I’m going to stop here to tell you before thinking fans were being kidnapped, I had been saying things like ” I’ll probably get a free hotdog and drink” or ” they will have me mop the stage” because in fact a Once in a Lifetime Fan Opportunity would be anything outside the normal buying a ticket to the concert experience, right? Right!
Still all the while hoping I’d get to meet him.
Well, the prize is, during the last song of the concert, the winners for each show get to stand on the stage and clap while Kid Rock signs and performs the last set.
Now, according to the fan that was completely disappointed, he doesn’t even look the winners way! I hope this isn’t true! I mean if I don’t get to meet him, at least I can say HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME! Of course in my case if he does look right at me it will be because I tripped and fell and knocked something over, probably fall off stage to boot.
I can see the disappointment. I mean you get all excited and tell everyone that you have won, but you don’t know what you have won. And everyone is ” oh you’ll get to meet him!” Now that I know before hand, I can let everyone know, hey I don’t get to meet Kid Rock, but I do get to make an ass out of myself on stage so take plenty of pictures! I’d been a bit ticked if I hadn’t known and then after the concert been asked ” so did ya get to meet him” ….. I’d have felt like a complete idiot!
Thank Goodness I only bought a new pair of jeans and not a new pair of shoes too! What a disaster that could have ended up being! 😉
Who knows, maybe next time!

Little Red Corvette

What did that title make you think of?

Prince circa way back when? Wait, is it still the artist formally known as Prince? I can’t keep up on those things!

Here’s what my original thought was, a mans MIDLIFE CRISIS! And this would be the visvisualization of THAT thought:

 

 

Now, I don’t know about you, but I personally think that is just a bunch of bull crap! All the way around. No matter how you look at it, how you break it down. That photo sums up a mans midlife crisis. I don’t mean all men cheat or all men go out and buy a super fast sports car. I can’t say that, I don’t know allmen. However, I do believe a mans midlife crisis, or whatever it is, is completely different then a woman’s.

Here is how I see this particular point in my life :

Completely different wouldn’t you say?

I am NOT more “disguising” looking! I am almost 42 years OLD and not only do I have wrinkles, but I have pimples and blackheads! And not just a few, but a whole face full! Try shopping for face cleaners and spot treatments and makeup when a product for one problem worsens the other problem! It’s a nightmare! I have purposely let ALL the light bulbs burn out over the bathroom vanity! I do not want to see what the mirror has to offer me! ESPECIALLY those extremely long but you can barely see them until your 7 year old points them out chin hairs!!!!!! REALLY!!!!!!!!! This is where a ball bat to mirrors would be a super fun sport, if I wasn’t so superstitious!

At the ripe ol age of 42, after having given birth to 3 children, I can not sneeze,laugh or cough without having a bladder leak! Yes, I went there. And as long as I am there, ask my 7 year old what happens when I jump on the trampoline! For the past year she asks me periodically if I will jump with her, and she asks with a smile that says ” PLEASE jump with me so I can tell everyone you peed in your pants AGAIN!!!!”

I also find it strange that with 2 bathrooms in the house, and one out in the building that I am the only one who “gets in trouble” if I lock the bathroom door. All of them, husband included will stand outside that door beating on it hollering ” WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?” like I am a 15 year old boy who’s mom just discovered dads collection of nudie mags had been raided! I mean come on! So, I leave the door unlocked, and in and out they come. I really love it when as I am drying off, because I am the only one in the house who actually dries off as I am getting OUT of the tub, happen to notice that the bathroom door is standing WIDE open. Funny, because I KNOW I shut it when I went in, especially since my almost 13 year old son has his girlfriend and 2 friends over, yup I am positive I shut the door!

I have no idea what I thought my 40’s would be like, I probably thought I’d never live to be THAT old. But, now that I am here, and moving swiftly towards the mid 40’s I’ll tell you what I WANT it to be like!

I don’t want to have to do homework anymore! I have been doing homework since I was 5, and by gosh I don’t want to do it anymore! This is why I don’t go back to school myself, I should have many many many degrees by now with all the homework I have had to do for 5 kids!!!!!!! And, we aren’t close to being finished yet! ( with school that is….I am beyond finished with HAVING kids!)

I want to sleep in EVERYDAY, if I want to! Or, maybe stay up all night doing nothing at all, or reading, or walking thru the grave yard. Yes, I said walking thru the grave yard! Why? I don’t know, maybe to see if it still scares me now that I am old enough to know that NO ONE is going to jump out of the grave and grab me!!!!!

Today, I might want my hair pink, tomorrow I might want it red and the next day I may want to wear feather ear rings! No, I have NEVER wore feather ear rings because I thought those were the most stupid looking things EVER! And now, I want clogs and feather ear rings, just like Stevie Knicks wore in the 80’s! Next week, I may decide to be a Valley Girl.

 

The only thing I am real sure of right now at this precise moment is this:

I don’t mind getting older, but can I please do it on my terms? I’ve spent the last 22 years raising kids, raising a husband, I forgot to be me. I don’t know what I want to be, who I want to be or how I want to be yet.

Time, please slow down a bit, so I can catch up!

BIG HAIRY WEAVE!

     You may wanna buckle up for this one. This “happened” from one of those blonde meets attention span impaired slammed into I was so doing something else!
     See, that alone probably made you want to sit down. Unfortunately, it’s true.
     I had 7 different things on my mind, I was trying to get my husbands lunch ready for him to take to work, plus I was trying to remember that cool song I heard on the way home from work. My plans were to mow, and I was getting rather aggrevated I hadn’t made it outside yet. My sister in law text me about then, asked if I had heard “Redeemed” by …….oh man * shakes my head* Big Daddy Weave, man I hope that is right. I told her no, but I’d look it up was also going to look up that boating song as well. She replied with “Pontoon”, hmpf!
So, quickly, before I totally forgot, I looked them both up, downloaded them, then went about what I was doing.
     Finally, I made it to mowing.
     I’ll skip straight to Redeemed, it comes on and I started crying. Simply put, it moved me. I stopped the mower, text my sister in law, now I can not remember the exact text itself, but it was something to the effect that I LOVED that Redeemed song by Big Hairy Weave! I tried to remember who she had said, I really really did. All I could remember was Big and Weave…..well who would have thought Daddy fit in between those two words?!? Only word that made sense to me was Hairy…..hence Big Hairy Weave!
     Now that is how Big Hairy Weave was born. I want you to understand, I had already visualized Big Hairy Weave. This really is nowhere close to the exact visualization :

image

But then, neither was what I saw in his video!
     About 2 weeks later, I am sitting in church and someone got up on stage with their guitar and busted out playing Redeemed. Thank goodness I was sitting in the back, I nearly lost it……he didn’t look like Big Hairy Weave either.
     Finally, being the good sister in law she is, broke it down to me. Big……cause he’s a big guy, Daddy…….cause he’s a dad, Weave……hmpf, apparently his last name is Weaver!
     He will forever be Big Hairy Weave to us, we may even have to send him one of those hats with the dreads sewn in!

And Then Came The Decision

    

image

     Earlier this week I made the decision, I didn’t want to smoke anymore.
     I had bought my last pack of Marlboro Lights Sunday evening. I had no idea that night or even the next morning that I was going to quit.
     I have Chantix in the cabinet. I have an electronic cigarette with unopened cartridges. I also have nicotine gum in a drawer. So, you can see, at many different times I have in fact put a lot of thought into needing to quit smoking.
     By noon on Monday I had 3 cigarettes left in the pack I had bought Monday evening.
     I was on my way home from work when Big Daddy Weaves’, AKA Big Hairy Weaves’ “Redeemed” came on the radio. I let out a laugh and thought of my sister-in-law, that’s a whole different story. And I lit a cigarette. At this point I was singing along with BDW ” I AM REDEEEEMED…….” and it hit me…..like DUH right smack dab in my soul. ” Are you really listening to a Christian Rock song, singing along claiming to be redeemed and smoking a cigarette? Do you have any idea not only how hipocritical you look right now, but how ridiculous you are?” I turned the radio off and threw the cigarette out the window. Yes, on top of all that I littered as well!
     At 1:00 P.M. Monday, September 24, 2012 I smoked my last cigarette. I made the decision I wanted to be smoke free, I wanted to be nicotine free. I wanted to break those heavy chains.
     At this moment that I am writing this, I have officially been smoke and nicotine free for exactly 104 hours and 18 minutes.
     It’s hard. In so many ways it’s hard.
     The first few minutes to hours, I kept saying ” I got this” and ” Lord, we got this”. I stayed as busy as I could. After 24 hours I wanted to jump up and down and dance. But I didn’t. Day 2 wasn’t any worse, and not a lot better. The 48 hour mark came and went and it was what it was. Day 3, I came home from work and told my husband ” I haven’t had a cigarette in 72 hours” then I broke down and cried. Of course he looked at me like I was insane, asked why was I crying. I said ” this is so hard. Everytime I think I am going to break and walk across the street and buy a pack I think of how you went through all of this all by yourself in a jail cell” ( that was years ago and the more I thought about it, I thought man he had it easy! He was able to sleep all day. And he didn’t have the temptation of having a convienance store across the street)
     I have gone through countless Tootsie Pops. A couple bags of Jolly Ranchers and a few straws. I have given in, not to a cigarette or nicotine of any kind. But I have had a couple cherry Tootsie Pops. Yes, cherry. So completely disgusting!
     You would think once you make it through the nicotine withdrawls you are home free, but you aren’t. That’s just the beggining. Now starts the withdrawl from the actual habit of smoking. Much harder.
     As crazy as it is going to sound, its like purposefully ignoring your best friend. At moments it almost seems like your best friend is ignoring you. I had a very hard time with this yesterday and today. Understand, I didn’t desire to smoke. I missed that moment when, for example I finished eating, I missed reaching for the cigarette and lighting it and taking that first draw. I miss the action of the habit. Like a friend I can’t call or text.
     I have no idea if tomorrow will be better or worse. What I do know is, tomorrow will be day 5 and I doubt there will be fireworks or a tinker tape parade, which I really did expect, but I can say this:
I AM A NON SMOKER!

To Repair What Was Broken

   
image

  If you know me, truely know me, or are following my blogs; which it seems no one actually is, then you know the beginning of 2012 became a turning point in my life.
     To completely understand all of this you will need to read some of my blogs from earlier in the year.
     What I will tell you is there came a moment when I decided not only to accept Jesus Christ as my Savior, but I knew it was time to repair the realtionship I had broken with both our Lord and our Father.
     In 1993 I had made my way to the altar and I asked for forgiveness. I was saved. I was 22. I tried to read the Bible and to be honoest I was so confused. I had questions upon questions upon questions. So I turned to family members for answers. I was told exactly this, ” Julie, you are overthinking this. You have to trust the word and believe in the word” which quite frankly, left me more then confused how could I trust and believe when I didn’t have the slightest clue as to what the words were saying. I gave up.
     I spent the next 18 years bitter and angry. I would tell people “oh God and I have a relationship alright, we agree to disagree”. WOW! How completely ignorant that sounds now.
     In that moment back at the beginning of this year when I was on my knees letting it all out and asking once again for His forgiveness, I made a promise to myself and to God, I would not be deterred from rebuilding what I had broken.
     I spent months seeking out any and all information I could find to help me understand everything I could. From the writings of the Bible, to what being a Christian really is.
I bought a Bible Dictionary that is truely amazing. I have sought out historical information, you name it. I was thirsty, thirsty to know Him.
     In these beginning stages I was “called” to a church. I use the word called because I didn’t feel like this is where I belonged. But, a dear friend did and she was struggling. I walked with her until the day of her Baptizim. Then I found my church family, where I belong. With amazing people to help me along my journey.
     And a journey it is. In terms of my walk with God, I am still a toddler learning to maintain my balance. Some days are easy, others I stumble quite a bit. Yet, with each stumble, I am learning something new and amazing, as well as building my relationship with God.
     There are days I still feel so alone and sometimes abandoned. Not by God. I feel Him holding my hand or carrying my heavy heart. You see, I feel abandoned by my earthly friends. My chosen sisters. Those who I love and adore and have forever. I don’t tell you this so feel sympathy for me. None is needed. Things happen in life, which being human we allow the emotional aspect of those things or situations to completely take us over. My love for these friends has never wavered. But I can’t allow their choice of going with their feelings of the moment to interfer with my new journey. Those days my feelings of loss and saddness take over, I know without a doubt my Lord and Savior is carrying me through.
     July 1rst my Mother & I were baptized, along with 2 amazing people within our church family. I will tell you, I was scared to death. Will I drown? Will I meet Gods expectations? Will I fall? So many things went through my heart, my soul and my mind. For me, my baptizm was an offering of sorts to God that I have every intention of keeping my promise.
     I am still learning and eagerly yearning for more knowledge. Excited in my growth process. And I am not one bit ashamed to tell you I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the sacrifes both he and our Father have made and continue to make so that I can grow in His likeness and follow the path he has planned for me. I still haven’t seen what that path is, but I know with patience and commitment someday it will be revealed. And oh what a glorious day that will be. Because I have no doubt with Jesus Christ beside me I will have the strength and knowledge to walk that path just as He has planned for me.
     For now, I am happy with who I am. Confident in the rebuilding my relationship with God. And I have faith in Him and all he carries me through.
     May God bless you in all things you do!
     Much love to each and everyone of you!