The Experience

Recently, my two sons and I attended a Kid Rock concert. Before the concert, I won a contest through The Rebel Soldiers Fan Club ( Kid Rocks’ fan club) called ” The Ultimate Fan Opportunity” for weeks they kept secret what the actual prize was. Then as other concert winners were attending their prospective concerts, information was leaking here and there. Probably, mostly because I was poking around trying to find out what EXACTLY was going to go down. Not because I enjoy taking the element of surprise out of things, but because I had to convince my husband I didn’t sign up for a full blown orgy back stage with Kid Rock, because the contest CLEARLY stated the opportunity was for the winner ONLY not the winner plus one or the winner plus their party, just THE WINNER, that was it. Therefor, I HAD to track down information, otherwise this winner was NOT going to see the prize!

I had only bought two tickets to the concert because when I bought them, I had no idea there was going to be a contest, little alone that I would win one. The plan all along was for me and our 13 year old son to go. Over the years, he has begged to go to a Kid Rock concert with me. In 2011 my husband and I went to the Born Free concert in Evansville, I promised our son then, the very next concert he could go to. Turned out, I lied. My husband and I went to Noblesville in August of 2011 for another Kid Rock concert. So, when the Rebel Soul tour was announced, it was decided at that moment, me and my son were going to Rock it together!

Then I won the contest, my husbands comment ” What about Trent? You know he won’t sit there by himself” All my joy was sucked out of me! And NOT A SOUL that I knew would agree to leave their seat and come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert ( even though we had damn good seats) and no one I knew that wasn’t already going to the concert would agree to buy a ticket and then come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert. It was as if everyone was saying, ” Screw You!” It literally came down to a few hours before the concert, I begged and begged my oldest son PLEASE buy a cheap seat ticket. They are ONLY $22 PLEASE!!!!!!! He FINALLY caved! And, I think even he is happy he did.

The following paragraphs are copied from a text I sent to my friend, she sent me a text, and I quote; ” So tell me about how it all went down”…….and I did, then I copied it into a note on my Facebook page, adding The Rest of the story. Now, Here I am copying it to my blog, with The Beginning of the story! Image

Well, Born Free had just started and I felt someone pull on my shirt ( which I already knew security was coming to get me during that song) so I turn and the guy asked Julie? I said yes he said follow me so I followed him down the steps ( we were the 10 th row off the floor) to the floor and all the way to the back of the floor area where there was the other fan club winner and a girl and her boyfriend that had won thru Harley Davidson……
So we just stand there thru most of the song then the guy says ” the next song is Bawtidabaw, when the explosion goes off we go… Follow me” and I was like oh man I wish I hadn’t left my phone with Johnny cause I so need to video this for Tyler Bates!……
So then all these sparkler things start going off all across the stage and Kid Rock comes shooting out of the bottom of the stage ( which is also how he started the show so damn cool) and then BOOM! And we were off dang near sprinting to the front diving our way thru people( not really but I did have to push one chick out of my way)
We get up to the front and walk behind a curtain. And there I am standing UNDER the stage and this guy in a suit comes up to me sticks his hand out and says ” I’m Gio, are you Julie?” And I thought SHIT I’M GETTING KICKED OUT ALREADY! Gio is Head of Kid Rocks personal security! So he says they ( and points to the stage) will go off stage change then they will come back out and they are going to play Happy New Year you guys are going to stand by the Harley and just have a good time like your at a New Years party and they gave us Happy New Years hats……
So the song ends and we walk up on stage all the lights are off and it was so damn cool! A couple minutes went by I guess then the band and Kid Rock come out from a curtain with their gold coats on. And this Gio grabs my arm and says you here…. Then they started playing and I started singing and clapping and waving my hands and jumping up and down ……..
The other fan member that won she was like 70 and so darn cute , the sax player kept turning around and smiling winked a couple times then moved to the other side of the stage! Ha! Then the guitar player came our way and he nodded and smiled and soon he too moved away! And yup KR did look our way, but that was it. No HEY GIRL WHAT’S UP! But he was like 5 feet away from me at one point! They turned the lights on and I could see J2 and Trent then I really went crazy and they were crazy waving back!
They kept drawing the song out, so what is normally a 3 minute song was like 10 minutes, when the song was over we were escorted off stage had our picture taken, not with Kid Rock and told thank you and good bye! And I was HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

I hadn’t been to Ford yet so I had no idea if our seats were good or not good and the chart you couldn’t really tell. When Trent and I were walking down the steps and we got half way down I turned and said ” NO WAY!” He said WHAT? I about started crying when we finally got to our seats! I mean they seriously could not have been better! Well, yes they could have but not anywhere near my price range! I’m not gonna lie and say I wish I could have gotten a hand shake, but I’m good
( as told by me to Stacy via text message…. She asked how it all went down, so I told her!)
And here is the rest of the story, which I left out of the text messages.
As I am heading back up the steps to where our seats were, I was diverted to a different set of stairs because someone in our section had passed out. However, my sons were waiting for me when I came out of the stairway. And it was on. I was all chatter like I had just drank a gallon of Red Bull followed by a dozen of those energy shot things! I could not shut up. I thought as we hit the doors I was gonna freeze walking back to the Jeep, but nope! I was good to go. And the three of us laughed and laughed and were just crazy ridiculous the whole walk back to our ride. I can’t speak for my boys but I had had the most amazing night! The whole night was just epic! ( I had wished several times that Scott was there, so he was in my heart) I can’t explain how full my heart and my soul felt. It was like, a release….. Not the end of a story, but THE opportunity to turn the page to the next chapter. For some, you are probably thinking this girl is nuts, which I am, but others who are reading this understand exactly what I mean. EPIC!
And now, the REST of the REST of the story. As we are rolling up the highway I say ” who’s window is down?” J2 says ” his” and points to the back I didn’t think anything at first, thought Trent was hot. Didnt seem odd. Then I said ” what’s that smell? OMG! Are you throwing up?” And he was! So we pulled into Windmill. I went in got him some water and napkins and mistakenly lead the cashier to believe I go to EVERY Kid Rock concert, as in crazed psycho fan following him around the country when I just meant all the ones he has in Evansville!….oops! Apparently, he had been feeling sick to his stomach every since we sat down at the concert. I told him NEVER do that again! EVER! He said WHAT? I told him no one and nothing not even Kid Rock is or ever will be more important then my kids and he should not have had to sit thru all that feeling as bad as he did, we would have left! I then felt like the worse parent ever!
This part, I think all of you will love. Chloe gets off the bus today, first thing she says is ” why did Trent stay home?” So I explained how he got sick, she smiled that evil little smile and said….” HMPF, sounds like Trent doesn’t like Kid Rock either!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Image( that’s me in the orange shirt, which just so happens to be a Harley Davidson TShirt!….I have just as many of them as I do Kid Rock tshirts, ok, well maybe not, but I have a few!)

May 2018

Crazy. I was. I can not tell you how insanely over the top crazy I was for Kid Rock. No, I had no grand illusions of being whisked off to forever be his love slave. Ewe. I mean how many ” places” do you think THATS been in. 😲 Noway, I have loads of respect for my place. Anyway, in the deepest darkest depths of my own personal hell his voice was my everything. My best friend, my anger release, my sobering cries. Wow. His voice was all that held me in check. That night, April 1,2013 I was so high on life. I was going to be on stage with the voice that kept me sane. No bundle of nerves no jitters, calm as my soul could be without having been on the Gulf of Mexico. I was ready. And SLAM. No warning signs no sirens, just a big fat fuck you. That’s what it felt like. Right there. I mean just feet away, and not a nod, not a wave not a passing by high five NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Took me about 7 seconds on that stage to feel it. We were a mosquito buzzing around and around his nose, pissing him off. Resentment. Because he sold out. His backers required him to host the contests but they couldn’t force him to like it or give anything of himself. It hung heavy in the air. Took another 5 seconds to see I was feeling it right. And another .2 seconds to close it all off and say fuck you back. From that moment on Kid Rock as I use to see him was gone. The rest of my time on stage it was about me being on stage where my sons could see me and I could see them and we just danced and waved and acted stupid. It was the death of a friend. My over the edge excitement for anything Kid Rock died as well. For a few years I didn’t even listen to him. We still go to concerts, he puts on one hell of a show. Still dream of him playing for me at this huge 50 birthday party for me. But, he’s not all that anymore. He’s an asshole as I see it. Broke my spirit for awhile but that’s my fault. I put it all on his voice. I needed someone or something to help me through, and his voice did. So, for that I thank him. Still pisses me the hell off. What would it have hurt 2 seconds. *sigh* I dream too big I suppose.

Damn it one of these damn days I am going to be filthy rich with my own damn yacht sailing around one of those beautiful islands with my husband and kids and beautiful friends, ugly ones too, and Kid Rock is gonna wish he had high fives me that night……..

✌🏼

And Then Came The Decision

    

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     Earlier this week I made the decision, I didn’t want to smoke anymore.
     I had bought my last pack of Marlboro Lights Sunday evening. I had no idea that night or even the next morning that I was going to quit.
     I have Chantix in the cabinet. I have an electronic cigarette with unopened cartridges. I also have nicotine gum in a drawer. So, you can see, at many different times I have in fact put a lot of thought into needing to quit smoking.
     By noon on Monday I had 3 cigarettes left in the pack I had bought Monday evening.
     I was on my way home from work when Big Daddy Weaves’, AKA Big Hairy Weaves’ “Redeemed” came on the radio. I let out a laugh and thought of my sister-in-law, that’s a whole different story. And I lit a cigarette. At this point I was singing along with BDW ” I AM REDEEEEMED…….” and it hit me…..like DUH right smack dab in my soul. ” Are you really listening to a Christian Rock song, singing along claiming to be redeemed and smoking a cigarette? Do you have any idea not only how hipocritical you look right now, but how ridiculous you are?” I turned the radio off and threw the cigarette out the window. Yes, on top of all that I littered as well!
     At 1:00 P.M. Monday, September 24, 2012 I smoked my last cigarette. I made the decision I wanted to be smoke free, I wanted to be nicotine free. I wanted to break those heavy chains.
     At this moment that I am writing this, I have officially been smoke and nicotine free for exactly 104 hours and 18 minutes.
     It’s hard. In so many ways it’s hard.
     The first few minutes to hours, I kept saying ” I got this” and ” Lord, we got this”. I stayed as busy as I could. After 24 hours I wanted to jump up and down and dance. But I didn’t. Day 2 wasn’t any worse, and not a lot better. The 48 hour mark came and went and it was what it was. Day 3, I came home from work and told my husband ” I haven’t had a cigarette in 72 hours” then I broke down and cried. Of course he looked at me like I was insane, asked why was I crying. I said ” this is so hard. Everytime I think I am going to break and walk across the street and buy a pack I think of how you went through all of this all by yourself in a jail cell” ( that was years ago and the more I thought about it, I thought man he had it easy! He was able to sleep all day. And he didn’t have the temptation of having a convienance store across the street)
     I have gone through countless Tootsie Pops. A couple bags of Jolly Ranchers and a few straws. I have given in, not to a cigarette or nicotine of any kind. But I have had a couple cherry Tootsie Pops. Yes, cherry. So completely disgusting!
     You would think once you make it through the nicotine withdrawls you are home free, but you aren’t. That’s just the beggining. Now starts the withdrawl from the actual habit of smoking. Much harder.
     As crazy as it is going to sound, its like purposefully ignoring your best friend. At moments it almost seems like your best friend is ignoring you. I had a very hard time with this yesterday and today. Understand, I didn’t desire to smoke. I missed that moment when, for example I finished eating, I missed reaching for the cigarette and lighting it and taking that first draw. I miss the action of the habit. Like a friend I can’t call or text.
     I have no idea if tomorrow will be better or worse. What I do know is, tomorrow will be day 5 and I doubt there will be fireworks or a tinker tape parade, which I really did expect, but I can say this:
I AM A NON SMOKER!

Does this seem wrong to you?

I’m back tracking thru the past year, so hang on for the journey.
I suppose the best place to start would be the weekend of Memorial Day 2011. The kids & I joined family & friends for a fun filled cook out. Scott joined us later on his Harley. He left before us, and showed up again a few minutes later. A dog had ran out in front of him so he layed the bike down to avoid the dog. He had road rash down one leg and arm. The bike suffered damage as well. His “burns” were painful and he was beyond miserable. He returned to work that Tuesday to find he and his entire Unit had been pulled for a “random” drug test. They were all carted to the clinic and back, then told not to return to work until they heard from them. A few days pass and stories are flying. Apparently the random wasn’t so random, there was a “target” list upper management was going thru. And so much more that I can’t say right now. The lab called to verify he had a prescription for a medication, said once they verified it with the pharmacy, they’d fax a clean report to his employer. We waited and waited. Then more chatter came in via co workers. Upper management was spreading the word they all had been fired for testing positive for K2. Hmmmm….there still is a HIPPA law, correct? June 7th, he gets a letter of termination. First, I must tell you, in the State of Indiana, K2 didn’t become illegal to posses or use until July 2011, this particular employer did not have a policy in place that covered ANYTHING beyond “illegal street drugs or illegal prescription drugs”. Well, he was denied unemployment benefits. At that point we hired an attorney. Not only did she win the unemployment appeals, but she uncovered so much more. At that point all the men signed an agreement for her to represent them in a very detailed lawsuit. The lawsuit, according to the attorney was to be filed first of September 2011. After they signed the contract, no one could ever get ahold of her. Then finally at the end of 2011 we were told it would be filed in January. This was a horrible horrible roller coaster ride of complete unprofessionalism and lost hope mixed with a dark dark cloud hanging over our lives. Again, we were told it would be filed in April. Before April was over we received a letter stating she did not have the ” time or energy ” to devote herself in “the manner to which this case deserves”, therefor she must withdraw her representation. However, she wishes then men “the best of luck” and reminds them there is a statue of limitations on a case like this. And now, well now we can’t get a decent Federal Court Attorney to return any calls. Well, one, and she wants an astronomical retainer fee. Did I mention, the attorney we had “highly suggested” the men NOT get jobs? Yes that’s right. We just bought our first house a year ago. My husband finally got a job, in NOVEMBER! Needless to say, the last year has been HELL! Anyone know a knock-em-out not scared of anything extremely better then great Civil Rights Litigation attorney, this case has the potential to be HUGE in so many scary ways!

Nicotine Battle

In my last blog, I stated I would be quitting smoking. Wow! I will say, I have in fact cut back, I have not quit.

I do so good when I am at work, because we are way out in the middle of no mans land. Therefor fighting those cravings is easy, no cigarette, deal with it until that urge has passed. No smoke breaks! But, I get home, and that need to take a drag hits, I look out the window and oh what do I see? A convenience store. TA DAH! Like it just appeared there. Before you know it, I have my bank card in hand, my shoes on and out the door. What in the name of Sam Hill happened to my will power? REALLY? How completely crazy is that! For those nasty things, that I really don’t even like to begin with to have so much control over me! I never thought of myself as weak, but here it is solid proof! I am ashamed of myself!

I wonder why I even started in the first place? Beats me, I can not remember back that far. I am thinking it was to keep myself occupied when my friends kicked me out of the car so they could get high, I could easily stay away from the pot.

I suppose if quitting was easy there would be no satisfaction in having accomplished your goal.

Right now I really want to climb a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs! Couple problems with that, only thing resembling a mountain around here is a massive coal pile, and second, because I smoke I would be half dead by the time I reached the top therefor; I would not be able to scream only gasp for air!

I can remember just the other day telling my oldest son ” Every desicion you make, every action you take leads to consequences on some level” Wow, where was I 20 years ago, like I would have listened to myself!

My vote, someone knock me out for about 7 days, then I will wake up Smoke Free! Yeah, I know the whole accomplishment thing!

I so wish I could go back to about 1988, for just one day, knowing EVERYTHING I know today. HHMMM! I wonder how that would turn out? Probably make an even bigger mess out of my life!

The First Day of the Rest of my Life?

Oh Jeeze! I got this bright idea this morning that today will be the day I quit smoking. There are a number of reasons that have led to the decision to quit, number one being my children keep asking me to quit, or telling me if I don’t quit I am going to die, and I am polluting their lungs, and so many more comments my aching head can not even comprehend at this moment.  The number 2 reason would be I am bound and determined I am going to conquer the beast of an exercise machine, THE ELLIPTICAL, along with running. I honestly have no idea why on earth, after 30 plus and plus years of NEVER having wanted to run why I want to do it now, but I do, so moving on. I don’t really know if at any time I personally have thought about the health risks and so forth of smoking, or surely I would have never started it in the first place, but I was 18 when I started, thought for some reason it was cool as hell. Maybe because Joe Cool was one sexy Camel! Or that cowboy up on that horse smoking a Marlboro while roping a cow, shit I don’t remember, some how I really doubt that either of those commercials had an impact on whether I started smoking or not.

My husband and I had decided what seems like forever ago to quit smoking. ( as a matter of fact a few years ago I did in fact quit for about six months, then his oldest daughter moved in and that was all shot to hell) Anyway, we had made an agreement when we signed papers on our new home we would quit, well that day came and went. Then, we agreed we would not smoke in the house, well I was following that rule, but he was not, so I decided to stop freezing my butt off and I too began smoking in the new house. I get up this morning to discover all of my cigarettes are gone. I suppose it was just more convenient for him to have smoked all of mine then to have walked across the road and bought a pack. So, as I am leaving for work I ask him, “would you like me to go get you a pack of cigarettes?”, to which is reply was, “no, we are quitting today”. Now, my first thought was ” who in the hell do you think you are to tell ME when I am or am not going to quit” (and of course to get the full effect of that statement you have to visualize my head jerking back and forth with my finger waving while one hand is on my hip!)

Well, I left for work, knowing I was going to stop across the street for a very bad cup of coffee , a granola bar, and a pack of Marlboro Lights. As I pulled up, I thought to myself, I am going to do this! So, I did not buy a pack. That was at 7:45 this morning. It is not 11:43 A.M. and I WANT A FREAKIN CIGARETTE so bad I could punch someone! *take a breath*

It is making it harder because my job is so boring I have had almost 4 hours of nothing to do but think about smoking a cigarette! I am hoping when I get home, even though there is a convenience store across the street, I can keep myself occupied and “busied” enough to NOT give in.

I am not sure what on earth this has to do with not having or wanting a cigarette, but I have had almost an entire pot of coffee today over my normal one cup! Talk about going STIR crazy! The gum in the vending machine is Wrigleys in the green pack and Juicey Fruit, both so full of sugar I can’t even stand to smell them right now, little alone chew them!

I can almost guarantee you, if my husband is up, he has already bought a pack. I am so going to beat him on this one. So, in a month when he wants to bitch about spending money, he’ll have to bitch at himself and not me!!

I can do this!!!!!!!!!

Kid Rock

Wow! March 1rst Kid Rock came to Roberts Stadium in Evansville, IN. For the first time in all the times I have seen him live on stage or at an event on T.V., I did not cry when he took the stage! Maybe turning 40 has brought about a surge of adulthood, God I hope not!!

You may be thinking “why on earth would this grown ass woman cry when Kid Rock comes on stage?” Well, there is a sort of “emotional” attachment to his voice. I know, now you think I am beyond crazy and perhaps even certifiable. Truth be told, I just might be. I’ll tell you my story, then you can decide for yourself. Before I begin, I have to tell you, I don’t share my personal experiences with many, and have NEVER told this story to anyone outside of my circle of friends. I am not even sure if my husband knows the full story behind my “personal” attachment to Kid Rocks’ voice.

I suppose I should give you some background before jumping into the deep end.

I was the owner of a salon, I was married with a young son. My Mothers boss at the local factory started coming in to get his hair cut. One thing led to the other, and I left my husband and within 6 months Scott and I were married. There was a moment in time, before I left my first husband that I took Scotts’ hand in mine, and something just lit up. I knew at that moment that he was my soul mate, the love of my life. I went home I told my husband I wanted a divorce, and that as they say is history.

To date, Scott and have been married 13 1/2 years. April 13 of this year marks the 14th anniversary of the night I took his hand in mine. Things are so very good these days. We are actually going to be closing on our first house this week. However, things have not always been so good. In fact they were bad VERY VERY bad. I would describe the bad period in our life as a roller coaster ride thru hell and back again.

I knew when Scott and I got together that he occasionally smoked pot. I was ok with that. As I saw it, really what was the difference in that and the man who came home from work everyday and drank a case of beer. I can’t say that pot was a stepping stone, because I am not convinced it was. I think it did open the world up to him in a manner that he was able to find what he wanted when he wanted, beyond the pot. When his oldest daughter was 15 she was “violated” . The police did not want to do anything about it because this man was under investigation for involvement with a drug trafficking gang out of Chicago. ( about a year later he was arrested for possession of pot and got a whopping 12 months probation-never a charge on him or any of the other supposed members) HE terrorized my daughter, me, our whole family when he would see us out. My husband damn near went insane with rage, and with that feeling of worthlessness from not being able to protect his daughter. I honestly thought he would track him down and kill him. And I imagine it went thru his mind. But, instead he turned to methamphetamine. It was a progression really. He didn’t jump into the deep in and then was lost to us. But as he progressed, there was no pulling him back in. HE just sank deeper and deeper and deeper. At the beginning, I knew what was going on, but I put blinders on. Once it got to a point of no return, regretfully, I had allowed it to go on for so long, I could not reach him. By this time he was “deeply” involved. There would be times he would be gone for days. I would have no idea where he was who he was with, how to contact him. He would leave us with no money, no car, barely any food in the cabinets. His mother would call for him, and I would lie as to where he was. My family and friends would question his where abouts, his state of mind and so on. I can remember one time it was the dead of winter, a blizzard going on outside, the authorities had called for a state of emergency, and the furnace went out. I called my dad crying, but he wouldn’t dare the roads to come help. I called my husbands cell phone, no answer…shocking….anyone and everyone I could think of that may know where he was. I left shitty messages on many a cell phone, and FINALLY a few hours later, me and all the kids bundled on the couch in a ton of blankets, he came storming in madder then an old wet hen, fixed the furnace and was gone for another 3 days. Because I had the nerve to call his “friends” and leave those shitty messages. And that, that was a good night. How about seeing your vehicle go cruising past your house with a strange girl driving it. Finding messages on your husbands phone, not for him, but for his girlfriend. Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough finding text messages between your husband and your very own sister, and not “hey how ya doin” messages… but “booty call ” messages. And, at the time I was 7 months pregnant. Which, of course for the entire 9 months he swore was not his. Finding out that during that blizzard when the furnace went out he couldn’t be found because he was shacked up somewhere with yet another of his crank whores. There were many, all of which he denies of course. The one he could not deny, he got her pregnant while I was pregnant. Care to guess how I found out? I doubt you will, so here it is. I had a dream one night that this girl with long dark hair showed up at my door with her mother and informed me she was pregnant. Of course he denied it, no on else would tell me the truth, then FINALLY one night for some reason he decided to clear his conscious, but his version basically that she more or less raped him but he let her. I know right!?!

I knew it would be a bad night when he would come home turn off all the lights and close all the blinds. Jeeze, those nights were real rough. He saw ghosts and para troopers and spies and God only knows what else.

There came a time when things were so bad, I cut off all ties to friends (did I mention my best friend was one of his conquers?..yeah) and family. I was alone. In mind, body and spirit. I was beat down and broken. I happened across a Kid Rock CD that my sister had left. I remember I put it in the computer, skipped thru a shit load of songs until I heard “Lonely Road of Faith” I cried and I cried and I cried, then I cried some more. I think I listened to that song a million times in the next few days. At that point if I remember correctly he had been gone about 3 days or so. I was pissed, boiling over ready to rip someone in half pissed. I put that cd in and let the whole thing play. I found there was a song for just about every emotion I would go thru at any given time. So, when I was pissed the fuck off, I would listen to ” Never Met a Mother Fucker…” when I was down and feeling sorry for myself it would be anything from “Lonely Road of Faith” to “Only God Knows Why” (by this point I had found other Kid Rock songs.) and even when I thought I wanted to try to understand my husband, what he was going thru, yes there was a song for that, like ” Jackson Mississippi”. So, that voice booming these songs out at me, letting me feel what I needed to feel, letting me throw a glass at the wall or what ever it was I needed, that voice became my shoulder to lean on. It became my friend, my break in the dark of loneliness. That voice saved ME. Really, I am not insane. I do not find an attachment to Kid Rock himself for any reason. Seeing him gives life to that voice, but I have no misguideedness towards a bond or connection of myself and him. Just a voice out of the darkness leading me to the light. And if that makes me crazy, then I am glad to be.

Would I love for him to show up at my door and he and I be life long friends, hell yes. Do I live in reality and understand this will never happen, unfortunately and sadly, yes I do. So, whether you understand it or not, that is my story. I am not sure why I didn’t cry this time at his concert. Maybe maturity, maybe the evolution of our life has finally brought me to peace. And maybe, after many many years, my heart is has mended and is again a whole. I am not sure, but what ever it is, whatever happened or didn’t happen, I am forever a true Kid Rock fan.

You may be wondering at this point what ever happened, well you already know we are still together. My husband ended up going to jail, spent some time there, some time on house arrest. And thru the last 6 years, we have healed, mended and moved forward in our lives. I suppose all of that will be another chapter in our lives.

In closing this, if anyone has actually read this far….. always believe……….