It’s What We Do

I want to take this time to talk to you about Real Housewives. By REAL, I mean REAL.

We all know all the different shows from all the different large cities…. ” Real Housewives of……” I loved those shows. Was addicted to those shows. Oh my GAWD I wanted to be IN one of those shows. I watched every single one of them, back when I was a Stay -At-Home Mom. I got sucked in by all the glamor and glitz. I did not know a soul, housewife, working mom, stay-at-home mom NO ONE who even came close to anyone of these woman. At the time, I lived in a trailer. YUP, Mobile HOME, had wheels on the bottom. I always thought ” you want housewife, come to the 47666 and follow me around, our shopping sprees takes us to Goodwill!”

I am not going to talk anymore about those house wives because someone somewhere will certainly get their feelings hurt and I have nothing anyone else would want to sue me for!

In my life, I work full time outside of our home. I take care of all the bills, finances, housework, kids things, mowing, pretty much everything except working on the appliances and vehicles; which usually I call someone to come and do. My husband, he just gets to go to work and that is it! And I am jealous of that sometimes. I will tell you, I screw up our account at least twice a year. And he gets so mad at me each time I swear he is going to divorce me. He thinks I am spending large amounts on STUFF when what it always comes down to is, I got lazy or sick or behind or all the above and stopped keeping track of what was going where who was spending what on what and why and just watched the balance until it got to the OH SHIT level. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it now, but it is going to happen again, I guarantee you. He refuses to help me, says I won’t learn how to do it and do it right until I keep doing it. What sense does that even make? UGH!

I can not tell you how many pizzas I have burned because I am tired and get side tracked when I go into the other room to fold laundry and throw it on everyone’s beds. I can set the timer on the stove and swear it’s the dryer yelling at me and at that moment I just do not care that the clothes are dried. Then finally someone yells ” WHAT’s ON FIRE!” In our first few years in our house we had ADT. I can only imagine how many bets went on when our house came up on screen as having a fire. Our towns 911 dispatch operator would call me personally to see if there really was a fire or if it was just me cooking again. My husband was mortified by it. I thought it was funny. I mean why in the hell did they put the smoke alarm 3 feet from the stove in the first place.

I can make a Sears service man cry. At one point he threw up his hands and said ” I give up” at which point he declared our washing machine ” uneconomical to repair”; and Sears issued us a full refund on the machine, PLUS what we paid for the warranty. The machine in question was only six months old and I had somehow managed to blow apart the concrete arm that held the tub in place. True story. That was six years ago. In that six years we have gone through three more washers. My husband and the lady who owns our local Sears Home Store went round and round about my abilities to operate the machines correctly. Her loss, we now purchase our appliances from Menards.

I think about all the things that I have gotten myself into, and out of. From the things listed above to ruined laundry, lost pets, broken hearts, skinned knees, first days of kindergarten to graduation days, science projects gone wrong to better grades now then I got when I was in school. There are days I am so tired I don’t know if I should cry, laugh or scream. I have many days when I REALLY want a margarita. Then I think of all the butterfly kisses, stomps in the mud puddles, laughs until we cried, sleepless nights, early mornings, drives through the country until a very sleepy someone falls asleep…………. Then I think of all the times I wished time away and I cry. My soul cries. My heart cries.

All the things I wish I could undo or take back, erase and move on from. It’s all part of being a mom, a wife, a housewife, mother, disciplinarian, cook, referee, boo boo kisser, laundry sorter, dishwasher, hair fixer, tear drop catcher……how ever you want to classify me, I gladly accept the job. Yes, there are still going to be days I wish I lived at the beach, I am always going to want to live at the beach, but I want to drag all my little bugs with me. I love my life, however you categorize it. And the more I go over all those little things, and big things we do and will continue to do as REAL HOUSEWIVES, I wouldn’t trade any of it to be big and fancy and controversial, ( which for some reason reminds me of when Chloe and I went into a second hand store a while back and she said to me, ” isn’t this for poor people?” and we both looked up and saw a purse with a huge price sign that said $700 USED……she looked at me and we both laughed…..who in their right minds pays $700 for a used purse????) So, I will probably keep on complaining at times, bragging at times, and planning a life I will never have on a beautiful tropical island, but I love being the housewife for the husband and children, and house I have.

 

 

 

Thursday 5:00

Thursday 5:00 hit and I was 10 different kinds of excited. Vacation started. It was here. FINALLY!

For me, Thursday 5:00 is a celebration each week since I don’t have to be back to work until Monday; unless Monday is a holiday and then it’s Tuesday.

However, this Thursday 5:00 is so much sweeter then any of the others. We were actually leaving on vacation come Saturday!

Vacation. I do not have to be back to work for 11 whole days! Feels so damn good I can’t even begin to describe it. For me, vacation is actually me calling in a sick day. By doing this, I cheat myself out of good quality vacation days. But, it is the only way I can get off of work and not have to do anything around the house, it’s a win but lose kind of thing, but you do what you have to do. And then I lose valuable paid days off, I get a set amount per year and it never changes. Nope. I do not earn any extras nor am I rewarded with years of service by added days or weeks. What I had on my first day of hire is what I will always have. Win some lose some.

So, this Thursday 5:00 feels completely different then any other one I’ve had to date.

As we are driving south my thoughts are spinning round and round. THIS is life. This is what life is suppose to feel like. Like the wind whipping through my hair then slapping me in the face. Which makes me think of all the poor saps all around the world working to make life go on around me while I vacation. Poor souls. But, I thank you, someone has to work so us vacationers can enjoy life. My hat’s off to each of you.

It is strange though, enjoying every second of being free from the time clock and life that requires you to be a robot of sorts;just to sit and think of all those left behind who must adhere to that life for the moment. I don’t think about those things when I’m the one up 2 hours before everyone else so that their morning goes smoothly when I have to get them up. It is what it is and life as we know it will continue even if we are off to paradise for a week!

✌🏼 Enjoy Life✌🏼IMG_5740.JPG

I Am Jack

” Yes! I snuck past those silly kids!” I’m on my way on my way on my way

“HELLO beautiful how are…..” Inconveniently interrupted by little missy beautifuls’ owner! ” Super! Hey I hear some kids over here, think I’ll check it out on my way home”

POP!POP!POP!

I am Jack. A pit bull by birth, loved and adopted by a human family.

I was shot and killed on May 9,2013, because I snuck out when the kids opened the door, ran to a neighbors house where a female dog was in heat, was told to go home, so I was on my way home and I walked through the wrong yard. The home owner decided to shoot me three times with his rifle while his children, his step children and some neighborhood kids were all outside in the same yard at the time. Yes, the children saw the whole thing. I have no idea what I did wrong.

One of the little boys who was in the yard at the time I was shot, ran home and told his mom. He was so upset. I’ve never seen him like that. Luckily, his mom put him in the car and drove him over to my owners house. She grabs him and hugs him and tells him shes so sorry. I’m not sure she understands what he has told her. He said which yard he was in and that her dog had ran across the yard and “he” shot him with his rifle and scope 3 times! She said she had heard the shots just as she got out of the shower. See, she had gone running and my dad was working in the garage, so they didn’t know I was gone.

She went inside and called 911, told them exactly what the little boy had told her. My dad got in the car and came in search of me. He couldn’t see me.But I heard him. He asked that lady if she shot his dog, she said no. He asked her if his dog had been shot and she said yes. He asked if his dog was being aggressive, which I have no idea what that even means, and she said no he should have kept his dog in his yard. Oh man was he mad!

At home, my mom gets a call back from dispatch, told her he had an officer with her dog and gave her an address asked if she knew where that was. Of course, it’s the next street over. But, they didn’t tell her! She doesn’t know.

Oh! NO! She has gotten in the car with dad. ALL THESE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND….SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL HER!

Her and dad walk around the back of this house where they see the police man. He points, she can’t see me. My dad turns and tells her to ” GO GET IN THE CAR!” I think before he could even get it all out she saw me. I have never seen her act like that. She was trying to throw a boat I think. She ended up in handcuffs while all those people standing around watched.

No-one told her I was dead.

The town Marshall told my family the man at that house admitted to shooting me. He said I wasn’t being aggressive,I still don’t know what that means, nor did he feel threatened. He said he shot me because I was in his yard. I don’t understand , who does that?

I AM JACK. I WAS A PIT BULL WHO WAS LOVED DEEPLY BY HIS FAMILY. I WAS SHOT AND KILLED FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

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The Experience

Recently, my two sons and I attended a Kid Rock concert. Before the concert, I won a contest through The Rebel Soldiers Fan Club ( Kid Rocks’ fan club) called ” The Ultimate Fan Opportunity” for weeks they kept secret what the actual prize was. Then as other concert winners were attending their prospective concerts, information was leaking here and there. Probably, mostly because I was poking around trying to find out what EXACTLY was going to go down. Not because I enjoy taking the element of surprise out of things, but because I had to convince my husband I didn’t sign up for a full blown orgy back stage with Kid Rock, because the contest CLEARLY stated the opportunity was for the winner ONLY not the winner plus one or the winner plus their party, just THE WINNER, that was it. Therefor, I HAD to track down information, otherwise this winner was NOT going to see the prize!

I had only bought two tickets to the concert because when I bought them, I had no idea there was going to be a contest, little alone that I would win one. The plan all along was for me and our 13 year old son to go. Over the years, he has begged to go to a Kid Rock concert with me. In 2011 my husband and I went to the Born Free concert in Evansville, I promised our son then, the very next concert he could go to. Turned out, I lied. My husband and I went to Noblesville in August of 2011 for another Kid Rock concert. So, when the Rebel Soul tour was announced, it was decided at that moment, me and my son were going to Rock it together!

Then I won the contest, my husbands comment ” What about Trent? You know he won’t sit there by himself” All my joy was sucked out of me! And NOT A SOUL that I knew would agree to leave their seat and come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert ( even though we had damn good seats) and no one I knew that wasn’t already going to the concert would agree to buy a ticket and then come sit in my seat for the last three songs of the concert. It was as if everyone was saying, ” Screw You!” It literally came down to a few hours before the concert, I begged and begged my oldest son PLEASE buy a cheap seat ticket. They are ONLY $22 PLEASE!!!!!!! He FINALLY caved! And, I think even he is happy he did.

The following paragraphs are copied from a text I sent to my friend, she sent me a text, and I quote; ” So tell me about how it all went down”…….and I did, then I copied it into a note on my Facebook page, adding The Rest of the story. Now, Here I am copying it to my blog, with The Beginning of the story! Image

Well, Born Free had just started and I felt someone pull on my shirt ( which I already knew security was coming to get me during that song) so I turn and the guy asked Julie? I said yes he said follow me so I followed him down the steps ( we were the 10 th row off the floor) to the floor and all the way to the back of the floor area where there was the other fan club winner and a girl and her boyfriend that had won thru Harley Davidson……
So we just stand there thru most of the song then the guy says ” the next song is Bawtidabaw, when the explosion goes off we go… Follow me” and I was like oh man I wish I hadn’t left my phone with Johnny cause I so need to video this for Tyler Bates!……
So then all these sparkler things start going off all across the stage and Kid Rock comes shooting out of the bottom of the stage ( which is also how he started the show so damn cool) and then BOOM! And we were off dang near sprinting to the front diving our way thru people( not really but I did have to push one chick out of my way)
We get up to the front and walk behind a curtain. And there I am standing UNDER the stage and this guy in a suit comes up to me sticks his hand out and says ” I’m Gio, are you Julie?” And I thought SHIT I’M GETTING KICKED OUT ALREADY! Gio is Head of Kid Rocks personal security! So he says they ( and points to the stage) will go off stage change then they will come back out and they are going to play Happy New Year you guys are going to stand by the Harley and just have a good time like your at a New Years party and they gave us Happy New Years hats……
So the song ends and we walk up on stage all the lights are off and it was so damn cool! A couple minutes went by I guess then the band and Kid Rock come out from a curtain with their gold coats on. And this Gio grabs my arm and says you here…. Then they started playing and I started singing and clapping and waving my hands and jumping up and down ……..
The other fan member that won she was like 70 and so darn cute , the sax player kept turning around and smiling winked a couple times then moved to the other side of the stage! Ha! Then the guitar player came our way and he nodded and smiled and soon he too moved away! And yup KR did look our way, but that was it. No HEY GIRL WHAT’S UP! But he was like 5 feet away from me at one point! They turned the lights on and I could see J2 and Trent then I really went crazy and they were crazy waving back!
They kept drawing the song out, so what is normally a 3 minute song was like 10 minutes, when the song was over we were escorted off stage had our picture taken, not with Kid Rock and told thank you and good bye! And I was HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

I hadn’t been to Ford yet so I had no idea if our seats were good or not good and the chart you couldn’t really tell. When Trent and I were walking down the steps and we got half way down I turned and said ” NO WAY!” He said WHAT? I about started crying when we finally got to our seats! I mean they seriously could not have been better! Well, yes they could have but not anywhere near my price range! I’m not gonna lie and say I wish I could have gotten a hand shake, but I’m good
( as told by me to Stacy via text message…. She asked how it all went down, so I told her!)
And here is the rest of the story, which I left out of the text messages.
As I am heading back up the steps to where our seats were, I was diverted to a different set of stairs because someone in our section had passed out. However, my sons were waiting for me when I came out of the stairway. And it was on. I was all chatter like I had just drank a gallon of Red Bull followed by a dozen of those energy shot things! I could not shut up. I thought as we hit the doors I was gonna freeze walking back to the Jeep, but nope! I was good to go. And the three of us laughed and laughed and were just crazy ridiculous the whole walk back to our ride. I can’t speak for my boys but I had had the most amazing night! The whole night was just epic! ( I had wished several times that Scott was there, so he was in my heart) I can’t explain how full my heart and my soul felt. It was like, a release….. Not the end of a story, but THE opportunity to turn the page to the next chapter. For some, you are probably thinking this girl is nuts, which I am, but others who are reading this understand exactly what I mean. EPIC!
And now, the REST of the REST of the story. As we are rolling up the highway I say ” who’s window is down?” J2 says ” his” and points to the back I didn’t think anything at first, thought Trent was hot. Didnt seem odd. Then I said ” what’s that smell? OMG! Are you throwing up?” And he was! So we pulled into Windmill. I went in got him some water and napkins and mistakenly lead the cashier to believe I go to EVERY Kid Rock concert, as in crazed psycho fan following him around the country when I just meant all the ones he has in Evansville!….oops! Apparently, he had been feeling sick to his stomach every since we sat down at the concert. I told him NEVER do that again! EVER! He said WHAT? I told him no one and nothing not even Kid Rock is or ever will be more important then my kids and he should not have had to sit thru all that feeling as bad as he did, we would have left! I then felt like the worse parent ever!
This part, I think all of you will love. Chloe gets off the bus today, first thing she says is ” why did Trent stay home?” So I explained how he got sick, she smiled that evil little smile and said….” HMPF, sounds like Trent doesn’t like Kid Rock either!”
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Image( that’s me in the orange shirt, which just so happens to be a Harley Davidson TShirt!….I have just as many of them as I do Kid Rock tshirts, ok, well maybe not, but I have a few!)

May 2018

Crazy. I was. I can not tell you how insanely over the top crazy I was for Kid Rock. No, I had no grand illusions of being whisked off to forever be his love slave. Ewe. I mean how many ” places” do you think THATS been in. 😲 Noway, I have loads of respect for my place. Anyway, in the deepest darkest depths of my own personal hell his voice was my everything. My best friend, my anger release, my sobering cries. Wow. His voice was all that held me in check. That night, April 1,2013 I was so high on life. I was going to be on stage with the voice that kept me sane. No bundle of nerves no jitters, calm as my soul could be without having been on the Gulf of Mexico. I was ready. And SLAM. No warning signs no sirens, just a big fat fuck you. That’s what it felt like. Right there. I mean just feet away, and not a nod, not a wave not a passing by high five NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. Took me about 7 seconds on that stage to feel it. We were a mosquito buzzing around and around his nose, pissing him off. Resentment. Because he sold out. His backers required him to host the contests but they couldn’t force him to like it or give anything of himself. It hung heavy in the air. Took another 5 seconds to see I was feeling it right. And another .2 seconds to close it all off and say fuck you back. From that moment on Kid Rock as I use to see him was gone. The rest of my time on stage it was about me being on stage where my sons could see me and I could see them and we just danced and waved and acted stupid. It was the death of a friend. My over the edge excitement for anything Kid Rock died as well. For a few years I didn’t even listen to him. We still go to concerts, he puts on one hell of a show. Still dream of him playing for me at this huge 50 birthday party for me. But, he’s not all that anymore. He’s an asshole as I see it. Broke my spirit for awhile but that’s my fault. I put it all on his voice. I needed someone or something to help me through, and his voice did. So, for that I thank him. Still pisses me the hell off. What would it have hurt 2 seconds. *sigh* I dream too big I suppose.

Damn it one of these damn days I am going to be filthy rich with my own damn yacht sailing around one of those beautiful islands with my husband and kids and beautiful friends, ugly ones too, and Kid Rock is gonna wish he had high fives me that night……..

✌🏼

Little Red Corvette

What did that title make you think of?

Prince circa way back when? Wait, is it still the artist formally known as Prince? I can’t keep up on those things!

Here’s what my original thought was, a mans MIDLIFE CRISIS! And this would be the visvisualization of THAT thought:

 

 

Now, I don’t know about you, but I personally think that is just a bunch of bull crap! All the way around. No matter how you look at it, how you break it down. That photo sums up a mans midlife crisis. I don’t mean all men cheat or all men go out and buy a super fast sports car. I can’t say that, I don’t know allmen. However, I do believe a mans midlife crisis, or whatever it is, is completely different then a woman’s.

Here is how I see this particular point in my life :

Completely different wouldn’t you say?

I am NOT more “disguising” looking! I am almost 42 years OLD and not only do I have wrinkles, but I have pimples and blackheads! And not just a few, but a whole face full! Try shopping for face cleaners and spot treatments and makeup when a product for one problem worsens the other problem! It’s a nightmare! I have purposely let ALL the light bulbs burn out over the bathroom vanity! I do not want to see what the mirror has to offer me! ESPECIALLY those extremely long but you can barely see them until your 7 year old points them out chin hairs!!!!!! REALLY!!!!!!!!! This is where a ball bat to mirrors would be a super fun sport, if I wasn’t so superstitious!

At the ripe ol age of 42, after having given birth to 3 children, I can not sneeze,laugh or cough without having a bladder leak! Yes, I went there. And as long as I am there, ask my 7 year old what happens when I jump on the trampoline! For the past year she asks me periodically if I will jump with her, and she asks with a smile that says ” PLEASE jump with me so I can tell everyone you peed in your pants AGAIN!!!!”

I also find it strange that with 2 bathrooms in the house, and one out in the building that I am the only one who “gets in trouble” if I lock the bathroom door. All of them, husband included will stand outside that door beating on it hollering ” WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?” like I am a 15 year old boy who’s mom just discovered dads collection of nudie mags had been raided! I mean come on! So, I leave the door unlocked, and in and out they come. I really love it when as I am drying off, because I am the only one in the house who actually dries off as I am getting OUT of the tub, happen to notice that the bathroom door is standing WIDE open. Funny, because I KNOW I shut it when I went in, especially since my almost 13 year old son has his girlfriend and 2 friends over, yup I am positive I shut the door!

I have no idea what I thought my 40’s would be like, I probably thought I’d never live to be THAT old. But, now that I am here, and moving swiftly towards the mid 40’s I’ll tell you what I WANT it to be like!

I don’t want to have to do homework anymore! I have been doing homework since I was 5, and by gosh I don’t want to do it anymore! This is why I don’t go back to school myself, I should have many many many degrees by now with all the homework I have had to do for 5 kids!!!!!!! And, we aren’t close to being finished yet! ( with school that is….I am beyond finished with HAVING kids!)

I want to sleep in EVERYDAY, if I want to! Or, maybe stay up all night doing nothing at all, or reading, or walking thru the grave yard. Yes, I said walking thru the grave yard! Why? I don’t know, maybe to see if it still scares me now that I am old enough to know that NO ONE is going to jump out of the grave and grab me!!!!!

Today, I might want my hair pink, tomorrow I might want it red and the next day I may want to wear feather ear rings! No, I have NEVER wore feather ear rings because I thought those were the most stupid looking things EVER! And now, I want clogs and feather ear rings, just like Stevie Knicks wore in the 80’s! Next week, I may decide to be a Valley Girl.

 

The only thing I am real sure of right now at this precise moment is this:

I don’t mind getting older, but can I please do it on my terms? I’ve spent the last 22 years raising kids, raising a husband, I forgot to be me. I don’t know what I want to be, who I want to be or how I want to be yet.

Time, please slow down a bit, so I can catch up!

From My Diary January 26 2012

What a morning, I tell you! Thursday is my ” have to be at work at 7 AM day” this semester. Because the only way to torture eager minds with the complexity of Anatomy and Physiology is to do it at 8 AM. Last night I went to bed extremely earlier, because I worked myself up into a real nasty migraine. In doing this, Chloe ended up in our bed, which left Scott to sleep in her bed. His alarm went off at 3:30, waking him up is just as nightmarish as waking a hibernating bear before Spring! However, I did make his lunch for him this morning. Then I went back to bed, he had to make his own breakfast. Couldn’t go back to sleep. I went in to check on the fire, decided, I didn’t really care today if it was lit or not, thinking maybe I’ll give it a good clean out when I get home today, then again, maybe I will just attempt to drag it outside!!! After getting ready, I had to get the kids up. Trent, actually got right up and was ready in record time, that is a first….ever!!!!! Chloe, well, Chloe was Chloe. She had a specific outfit that she had planned for the day, and since I did not do a damn thing yesterday, the shirt was in the dirty laundry. Before I tell her this, I go back to her room and find a shirt with Edward on it…….and surprisingly, she did not throw a fit! ( she herself has never seen a Twilight movie, she has seen all the different hypes about all of it, her sister Sincere, however has seen the movies and now has a huge crush on Edward…….I believe this is why we did not have any issues over the change in shirts!) So, we are all ready and heading out the door…..Chloe stops, looks me over and says ” EXACTLY WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SHOES!” and of course, it was with the whole attitude thing, that by now, I don’t think I even need to describe! I said ” Goodwill” to which she responds with ” YOU WENT TO GOODWILL SHOPPING, GOT A PAIR OF SHOES AND DIDN’T GET ME ANYTHING? WHAT ELSE DID YOU GET?” I told her no I didn’t get her anything, she didn’t need anything right now, and she knew I have been going there looking for a pair of black flats to wear to work cause I HATE high heels! And I also mistakenly told her I bought dad a couple sweat shirts. She proclaimed, as she often does, which sooooo reminds me of another daughter, ” I AM TELLING DAD ON YOU!” I just shrugged my shoulders, as I always do and said ” ok”. It is then that she switches gears and says, ” I really like that sweater Mom” to which I thank her. * now i am shaking my head * she then says ” When you “outgrow” it, can I have it” I tell her, ” sure you can, and maybe by then you can figure out how in the hell you are actually suppose to wear it!” ( it’s one of those damn wrap around things that you can wear it like 7 different ways, and I can’t figure out 1 way to wear it properly, so I used a hair tie!) Now, she notices my socks….she says ” you do realize those socks are for Halloween, right?” I take a deep breath, cause at this point, I just want some coffee, VERY VERY strong coffee, and I am so tired of discussing my wardrobe with my almost 7 year old!!!!!! I tell her, yes I do, but without turning all the lights on in the bedroom and waking you up, they were the only black pair I could find. She shrugs her shoulders and replies with ” ok as long as you know!” So, we actually make it to the car now, we go to Trade Mart first, where both of them put in their “order” when I get back in the car, Chloe exclaims ” So, Mom, WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR HAIR TODAY?!” * dear lord, please give me strength, amen* I answer by reminding her that my flat iron does not work, she sarcastically replies ” is the blow dryer broke too”…….I do believe I banged my head on the steering wheel! Trent of course is laughing, and he had changed my music from KR to some screamo crap….which made my head pound!!!! I took a deep breath and explained, no the blow dryer was not broke, but with the rain and the humidity, it does me absolutely no good to try and straighten it with JUST the blow dyrer. She kind of made a hmpf noise and I swear I could hear her eyes rolling….probably thinking, well if I was you I would have at least TRIED! We FINALLY make it to Mother and Dads…….. NO COFFEE! Then Laci comes out and kind of looks at me side ways, and I say WHAT!!!??? I told you my flat iron doesn’t work anymore!!!!!! Bless her heart, she came out and said, ” Here, I have an extra one!!” HA!!!!!! It must REALLY BE THAT BAD!!!!!! Get to work, look at my slacks, I have something sticky all over them!!!!!! I don’t even know what it is, or where it came from. So, today I am just a flat out MESS!!!!!!!!!!!

I Don’t Wanna Be A Grown Up!

     These days, I often forget most everything. It’s disheartening to say the least, that I have forgotten how to be a kid. Ironically, I did not forget all those thousands maybe millions of times I wished so badly to be a grown up! Now that right there is a prime example of ” becareful what you wish for!
     There are days I almost cringe when I hear ” MOM! ” my response after the 10 billionth time of hearing that word is….in the most dramatically sarcastic loud voice I can muster….. ” WHAT?WHAT?WHAT? ” Which then brings on a cry. Now comes the very skilled and hereditary sigh puff with the roll of the eyes and I’m off to hug and kiss and baby. This, is a typical day, not the occassional burst of exhausted hormonal mom versus kid breakdown.
     My questions are:
1. Who lied about castles? ( I wouldn’t have a castle now if it was given to me free and clear….cause I’m NOT cleaning 20,000 sq feet of anything!)
2. Where is the dang butler? ( I get so tired of people knocking on the doors, and we have 4 doors, so then I have to figure out which door they are knocking on while they knock harder and louder because its taking me so long!)
3. Who said I was the maid? ( I know for a fact no one told me this was part of being an adult. Why did I do all those chores growing up, I thought Moms just took naps!)
4. Where are the tickets for all those exotic vacations? ( isn’t that what parents are suppose to do……party all weekend long at fancy resorts while their kids sit at grandma and grandpas all weekend and sometimes a few extra days? I mean why else did my parents ship me there all the time?)
5. What are spa’s? ( this at my house is defined by a 2 minute hot shower, followed by 4 minutes of a cold blast topped off with beating the body wash bottle on my leg to get the last bit out followed by a quick “throw on” of the closest lotion that can be found before someone comes bursting in with the MOM scream. Just so the next day I can wander where on earth that bruise on my leg came from!)
     In all seriousness, there are times I think to myself ” I just wanna go home!” Or ” MOM! Oh, wait where’s the phone….cause she DOESN’T LIVE HERE!”. I get tired of trying to think of what’s for supper. If I pass the trash can and its not been taken out, yes I just smash it down! I throw all the socks in a basket even though I know I’m gonna hear ” I need socks” or “I can’t find any socks!”. I stack laundry on the dryer even though I know they won’t grab it on their way thru, which means when they go digging thru it everything ends up on the floor just to have to be washed again. I close the kids bedroom doors so I don’t have to see it. When I clean the fridge out I put the pans on the floor for the dogs. These are just a few of my “I just can’t want to do it’s”
     Free time? I have no idea what that is. I go to work not just for the paycheck, but to get out of the house!
     Girls day/night? Please explain, in detailed hick terms…..cause if Momma goes so does daughter! Which may explain why friends don’t even call or text to say hey! How are you? Miss you!
     Fun? Does riding the mower across the street for gas count?
     I don’t wanna be a grown up! I take back all those wishes and pleads.
     Instead, I wanna jump off the back of a pontoon on a Tuesday. Go Jeepin on a Thursday. Race the motorized carts at Wal Mart on Mondays. Go muddin on a 4 wheeler on Fridays. Sleep til 3 or 4 on Saturday, after I woke up to watch an hour of cartoons at 8. Go to church on Sunday followed by some down home family dinner, that someone else cooked and has to clean up. And occasionally, dance in the rain…..after running thru the mud puddles!
     Mom!Mom! Where are you?
     Til next time, go dance in a mud puddle!