There comes a point in our lives that we stand in our own shadow. My point came 4 years ago. My shadow, smoking. I decided to take the bull by the horn and quit, cold turkey.
I nearly lost my mind. I couldn’t figure out how to cope. How to deal with all the emotions I was going through. So, I ate. And I ate. I gained a total of 30 pounds. I was a whopping 10 pounds heavier then I was with each of my pregnancies on the day I gave birth! 😔
My shadow shifted. No longer did I stand in fear of what cigarettes would do to my health, my skin, my clothes, etc. Now, instand looking in the mirror in complete disbelief of what I see.
It isn’t what society thinks of me that puts me in that thinking mode. I seriously could care less about societies rules and expectations placed on women and our bodies. It’s what I think and feel and see of myself. I hate my body.
I have spent a lot of money and time in the last 2 years trying like mad to get all this excess weight off.
Last year I lost 20 pounds following a Low Carb High Fat diet. Then the holidays came and bam! 10 pounds back on. Now I’m stuck. I’ll go down a few pounds and back up a few. Up and down. Up and down.
The last month I have been faithfully following a low carb high fat diet again. Initially, I lost 9 pounds. Then: up and down up and down. Not one single chest day or cheat meal or chest anything. Nothing.
I have no idea on this earth what I need to do or should be doing or shouldn’t. I will be 46 next month and I want to feel better. I want to look better.
Someone, please help me!!!