BREAKING NEWS….PATOKADELPHIA…..: Chocolate Thief HAS been identified! Local Heiress to River Bottoms Fortune was nabbed early this afternoon while sitting on her couch in her bath robe, with her cat on her lap eating reported stolen chocolate. Details are still sketchy at this time. We will follow this story as it develops!
John J D White wrongfully accused suspect turns out to be hero in investigation. haha
……..Local mail man was questioned after witnesses saw him teasing a chiuaua with what appeared to be a chocolate bar. After further investigation, mail man was released for co operating with Chocolate Investigators. What was thought to be a chocolate bar, was in fact a rubber remote control toy! Unfortunately for mail man, due to his co operation on the apprehension of the Heiress, he has been ejected from the will of Heiress, and no longer stands to gain the power of her Cat Kingdom!
In breaking news, Patokadelphia Heiress has admitted to eating chocolate. A spokesperson for the Chocolate Investigation Crime Unit ( C.I.C.U.) reports that Heiress confessed to having consumed chocolate. Reports are still a sketchy, but it appears Heiress consumed chocolate under duress while being held captive in a corner by hissing cat. It is … See More-also reported that Heiress did not steal the chocolate herself. She has claimed that the chocolate magically appeared at her door with a note from a local Daycare owner stating simply: ” I did this for you “. The Daycare owner in question has not been apprehended at press time
.Stacy White-Allen *whispers* Daycare owner has gone into hiding in an undisclosed location (her house) and will assuredly plead the fifth. She has many little-bitty alibis (i mean accomplices) to make her case strong.
In today’s news, C.I.C.U. ( get it *see i see you!ha*) investigators tried to question a fore mentioned Daycare owner. Upon arrival of the not-so-secret lair of the D.O., investigators were malled by what they describe as tiny sucker yeilding oompa lumpa’s. Investigators were last seen running wild on the south side of the Big City. reports suggest they were waving their hands frantically and screaming incoherently. An insider has suggested that members of the C.A.R.S. ( Crazy Ass Riotors Service) unit have been deployed to apprehend the C.I.C.U. Investigators.
In other news, it has been reported that local River Bottoms Heiress has in fact named the benefactor who stands to inherit the much sought after Cat Kingdom. An anonymous source says that Strawberry Shortcake has in fact been named the new benefactor. This change in the Heiresses will stems from her brother having named the Heiress as the Chocolate thief. The brother, in his much distraught state over this change of the will was found in a creek with hip high boots on in an hysterical state screaming ” WHO WANTS THOSE MANGY CRITTERS ANYWAY!”
More on this story as it develops, back to you Bob!