I Don’t Wanna Be A Grown Up!

     These days, I often forget most everything. It’s disheartening to say the least, that I have forgotten how to be a kid. Ironically, I did not forget all those thousands maybe millions of times I wished so badly to be a grown up! Now that right there is a prime example of ” becareful what you wish for!
     There are days I almost cringe when I hear ” MOM! ” my response after the 10 billionth time of hearing that word is….in the most dramatically sarcastic loud voice I can muster….. ” WHAT?WHAT?WHAT? ” Which then brings on a cry. Now comes the very skilled and hereditary sigh puff with the roll of the eyes and I’m off to hug and kiss and baby. This, is a typical day, not the occassional burst of exhausted hormonal mom versus kid breakdown.
     My questions are:
1. Who lied about castles? ( I wouldn’t have a castle now if it was given to me free and clear….cause I’m NOT cleaning 20,000 sq feet of anything!)
2. Where is the dang butler? ( I get so tired of people knocking on the doors, and we have 4 doors, so then I have to figure out which door they are knocking on while they knock harder and louder because its taking me so long!)
3. Who said I was the maid? ( I know for a fact no one told me this was part of being an adult. Why did I do all those chores growing up, I thought Moms just took naps!)
4. Where are the tickets for all those exotic vacations? ( isn’t that what parents are suppose to do……party all weekend long at fancy resorts while their kids sit at grandma and grandpas all weekend and sometimes a few extra days? I mean why else did my parents ship me there all the time?)
5. What are spa’s? ( this at my house is defined by a 2 minute hot shower, followed by 4 minutes of a cold blast topped off with beating the body wash bottle on my leg to get the last bit out followed by a quick “throw on” of the closest lotion that can be found before someone comes bursting in with the MOM scream. Just so the next day I can wander where on earth that bruise on my leg came from!)
     In all seriousness, there are times I think to myself ” I just wanna go home!” Or ” MOM! Oh, wait where’s the phone….cause she DOESN’T LIVE HERE!”. I get tired of trying to think of what’s for supper. If I pass the trash can and its not been taken out, yes I just smash it down! I throw all the socks in a basket even though I know I’m gonna hear ” I need socks” or “I can’t find any socks!”. I stack laundry on the dryer even though I know they won’t grab it on their way thru, which means when they go digging thru it everything ends up on the floor just to have to be washed again. I close the kids bedroom doors so I don’t have to see it. When I clean the fridge out I put the pans on the floor for the dogs. These are just a few of my “I just can’t want to do it’s”
     Free time? I have no idea what that is. I go to work not just for the paycheck, but to get out of the house!
     Girls day/night? Please explain, in detailed hick terms…..cause if Momma goes so does daughter! Which may explain why friends don’t even call or text to say hey! How are you? Miss you!
     Fun? Does riding the mower across the street for gas count?
     I don’t wanna be a grown up! I take back all those wishes and pleads.
     Instead, I wanna jump off the back of a pontoon on a Tuesday. Go Jeepin on a Thursday. Race the motorized carts at Wal Mart on Mondays. Go muddin on a 4 wheeler on Fridays. Sleep til 3 or 4 on Saturday, after I woke up to watch an hour of cartoons at 8. Go to church on Sunday followed by some down home family dinner, that someone else cooked and has to clean up. And occasionally, dance in the rain…..after running thru the mud puddles!
     Mom!Mom! Where are you?
     Til next time, go dance in a mud puddle!

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