The First Day of the Rest of my Life?

Oh Jeeze! I got this bright idea this morning that today will be the day I quit smoking. There are a number of reasons that have led to the decision to quit, number one being my children keep asking me to quit, or telling me if I don’t quit I am going to die, and I am polluting their lungs, and so many more comments my aching head can not even comprehend at this moment.  The number 2 reason would be I am bound and determined I am going to conquer the beast of an exercise machine, THE ELLIPTICAL, along with running. I honestly have no idea why on earth, after 30 plus and plus years of NEVER having wanted to run why I want to do it now, but I do, so moving on. I don’t really know if at any time I personally have thought about the health risks and so forth of smoking, or surely I would have never started it in the first place, but I was 18 when I started, thought for some reason it was cool as hell. Maybe because Joe Cool was one sexy Camel! Or that cowboy up on that horse smoking a Marlboro while roping a cow, shit I don’t remember, some how I really doubt that either of those commercials had an impact on whether I started smoking or not.

My husband and I had decided what seems like forever ago to quit smoking. ( as a matter of fact a few years ago I did in fact quit for about six months, then his oldest daughter moved in and that was all shot to hell) Anyway, we had made an agreement when we signed papers on our new home we would quit, well that day came and went. Then, we agreed we would not smoke in the house, well I was following that rule, but he was not, so I decided to stop freezing my butt off and I too began smoking in the new house. I get up this morning to discover all of my cigarettes are gone. I suppose it was just more convenient for him to have smoked all of mine then to have walked across the road and bought a pack. So, as I am leaving for work I ask him, “would you like me to go get you a pack of cigarettes?”, to which is reply was, “no, we are quitting today”. Now, my first thought was ” who in the hell do you think you are to tell ME when I am or am not going to quit” (and of course to get the full effect of that statement you have to visualize my head jerking back and forth with my finger waving while one hand is on my hip!)

Well, I left for work, knowing I was going to stop across the street for a very bad cup of coffee , a granola bar, and a pack of Marlboro Lights. As I pulled up, I thought to myself, I am going to do this! So, I did not buy a pack. That was at 7:45 this morning. It is not 11:43 A.M. and I WANT A FREAKIN CIGARETTE so bad I could punch someone! *take a breath*

It is making it harder because my job is so boring I have had almost 4 hours of nothing to do but think about smoking a cigarette! I am hoping when I get home, even though there is a convenience store across the street, I can keep myself occupied and “busied” enough to NOT give in.

I am not sure what on earth this has to do with not having or wanting a cigarette, but I have had almost an entire pot of coffee today over my normal one cup! Talk about going STIR crazy! The gum in the vending machine is Wrigleys in the green pack and Juicey Fruit, both so full of sugar I can’t even stand to smell them right now, little alone chew them!

I can almost guarantee you, if my husband is up, he has already bought a pack. I am so going to beat him on this one. So, in a month when he wants to bitch about spending money, he’ll have to bitch at himself and not me!!

I can do this!!!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s